The Occassional Purr

do you have an idealized self? And if so, what does she look/act like?

2011-03-30T08:56:00.001+08:00

do you have an idealized self? And if so, what does she look/act like?

Answer here

formspring.me

2010-04-22T17:21:00.001+08:00

if you have a question I can't answer, you win a kitty

Byebye '09

2009-12-31T08:19:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day of 2009. This statement, is of course for the sake of my future self when I read back and wonder what this is all about. Im forgetful that way. This is also for you people who bother to read my musings. You're 40% of the people I want to extend this to. This week last year, I'd been reflecting on what a horrible year 2008 was, full of ill-gotten victories and misdirections. 2009, on the other hand, was straitforward and radical. 2009 saw the best and worst days of my life to date. I lost close family members, through death and estrangement. I found and lost love. I found and lost hope. I've had severe bouts of depression where I couldn't leave my room to even eat for days. I've had days where I felt like I was on top of the world and that nothing could get to me. This is the year I officially stopped being a teenager, when the pressure of adult life and independence actually sunk in. I'd been able to fulfill dreams, I'd had some questions answered, self identity crises resolved, new worlds had been revealed to me (yay WOD and accent movehz!), old things came back to haunt me. I became part of Hastang, to whom I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to perform and write my songs. I'd done things I never thought I would do, or get around to. This year also saw me getting rid of masochism and procrastination (I'm almost there!). I went back to building skills for things I'd dropped long ago, and I earned and learned new skills through exploring interests. My life philosophies found names, and I'm still deciding whether I'm happy that I'm not alone, or pissed that I'm not the one who came up with this shit. I made a lot of mistakes in the process but the mistakes only made the little victories sweeter. There were more downs than ups. But that only made the ups more special by contrast. For all of you who were part of it, for those of you who helped make this year crazy and memorable, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Thanks. Bring on the new year. :)

Beauty Bar Bitches

2009-09-13T17:55:00.000+08:00

What was supposedly an adventure by two bored girls turned into a reality check into how unprofessional some people in the service industry can be.

I was window shopping with Nica, looking at sparkly things (she's the shine fetishist, not me), where our whimsy brought us to the makeup department of Rustan's. One thing I like about Testers, is that although the product is expensive as hell, you at least know what you're missing out on. This way, if you really think it's worth it, you come back when sudden windfalls happen. Welcome ladies and gents, to the mind of the Philippine college girl shopper.

After finding the most byutiful lipcolor in the world (Hotwired, NARS, P1300+ T_T), Nica suggested we go to Beauty bars.

Ara: Do they have makeup brushes?
Nica: For testing? I'm not sure, but yeah, probably

This is where the adventure turned funny. I remember how Nica was saying that she loved how the salespeople at Rustan's don't bother you when you're at the make up counter. I was curious to find out how service was like at the other cosmetic shops.

At the beauty bar, we were hovering over random brand sections where they had the testers lined up in front. The difference between some of the testers and sold products were how they were sealed. Some of the testers didn't even have marks on them. We were taking our time, laughing at the weird products (green concealer is apparently for pimples, not aliens. I learned something new today!), when I was having a particularly hard time finding the tester for one of the products (dark eyeshadow), I figured the unsealed box was the tester.

I was taking time trying to open the box, and at one point, I almost asked the girl for help, but it came free. I noticed though, that the salesladies had started hovering over me when I tried to apply the eyeshadow on my lid. I was seriously wondering if I was allowed to put heavy make up with testers or something.

When I was done, one of the (braver?) salesladies came up to me and said that I had touched a sold product. Demmet. I knew I was at fault, problem was, I didn't bring moolah, and I wasn't going to have any til my allowance arrived (which would be tomorrow).

The saleslady left me to talk to the other salesladies, although I knew I was supposed to have to pay for it. I was thinking of leaving something, but I didn't even have an ID on me. All I had was a cellphone, my wallet (with change), a book and a small sketchpad. I'm not a proficient 'artiste', so none of my drawings could've amounted to the damaged product. The saleslady came back several times to tell us she couldn't let us just go, and there was no way they could make it appear as if the product hadn't been touched, and I would have to pay for it.

I don't know why she kept on insisting on this point when I'd never once denied paying for it, I just didn't have the cash atm. I figured I needed to talk to the sales manager to make her understand the situation, so I asked the saleslady to contact the manager for me. She again told me I had to pay for the product and said the manager wouldn't come. I put on a firmer tone, which seemed to change the manager's mind about facing me.

So she did, and pretty much reiterated what the saleslady said, even after I apologized and told her I understood that I'd have to pay for the product. I repeated that I was willing to pay for the product but would only be able to tomorrow when my allowance arrives. I also assured her that I could leave something of mine behind to guarantee that I'd be back. She asked me for my phone, and I hesitated because I was thinking of whether I'd need it for anything between now and when I get my allowance. She then asked me if there was anyone I could call to borrow from. It seems I wasn't being allowed to leave until that damn thing got paid. I told her there was noone I could bother for that sort of thing (I was already humiliated enough), and just handed my cellphone over. Madame manager told me there was no way they could be convinced that I'd return. I was pissed. I was humiliated. I was being treated like a common thief, and the manager was worried I wouldn't return for my P1,500 worth cellphone that I used to communicate with my mother for a P670 eyeshadow pot.

If this is how they treat potential customers, they have no business being in business. Nica mentioned later, that this had happened to her before at Metro Gaisano, but the attending saleslady just shrugged it off, saying they'd just use the opened product as a tester. It was like the Beauty Bar salesladies were bitter about me randomly trying on the products, being my dorky, scruffy self.

Their body language totally said, "You keep trying stuff on, are you even buying? You don't look like a customer.", and later, while the whole drama was playing out, it was almost spitefully, "Oh! Guess what! You're suddenly a customer!"

Well Ayala Beauty Bar, too bad it had to turn out this way, I would've wanted to become a recurring customer. But now, I don't even see why you deserve any when you're suspicious of anyone who browses through your stuff.

Buhbye Persephone II

2009-08-30T14:23:00.000+08:00

To all those concerned, I lost my phone today. That big bulky china phone. It was in my bag when I went to sleep on the boat, and it wasn't there when I woke up. I turned my stuff topsy turvy looking for it.

I hated that phone. Because it was so inconvenient to use. The keypad didn't work, so the only way I could text was through the touchscreen. Did I mention I lost my stylus a while ago?

The only redeeming values of that phone was the fact that the sound recorder worked like a charm; and that the speakers were relatively loud.

The TV; the camera; and the radio were relatively useless to me.

The sucky part is that I lose all the messages; the sound files for new songs; the pictures; the scandalous videos(!!!) and all the numbers.

Meh. Oh well.

~~~

In other news, I'm back in Biliran. I've been told there were horses. I'm being picked on by a grandaunt for being skinny, and I realize this isn't where one goes to get a vacation. Well not for me at least.

I'm on a vacation because I'm tired of the world again. There's very little motivating me at the moment but the future. And the future's always painfully out of arm's reach. I can think of a few things that I would like to have within arm's reach but the only thing near enough at the moment is a song. One more sad song is one too many, but it's expression.

Maybe I do need the extra girth. My heart feels so full it's about to burst. And everybody wants my body but nobody wants my heart.

Those who claim to want my heart don't really know what they're asking for.

And what's the point of asking for something that has somebody else's name on it?

The theme of the day: Selling Out

2009-08-20T15:37:00.000+08:00

Someone invited me to sing a demo of a song they were selling to an upcoming pop star today. I picked up a cousin on the way, when we started talking about pop stars. Ate Jean was talking about how Gretchen Espina (Pinoy Idol winner/elementary classmate) resurfaced on local tv just recently with a very different face from last time. I was saying I wouldn't be surprised if she actually had her face done for showbiz, no matter how much you like your own face, if general consensus doesn't agree, it's better to get surgery. It'd been a long time since I last talked to ate Jean, who gave me a look and told me she'd never imagined that kind of sentiment to come from stubborn, naturalist wittle me.

We got to Bigfoot, where the songwriter/composer duo rented a studio. It was the first time I'd done a recording, and even though it wasn't my song, the experience was exciting in itself. As soon as I heard the song, my face fell. It was a fast pop song. The song was basically about how hot the singer was, and that any boy who wanted to get with her should leave their shit at the door. The lulz part was that as a guide, Ben, the writer, recorded the song with his voice first. To me, it sounded very flamboyantly gay. I let the lulz help me through the ordeal. The song was meant for someone with a higher pitched voice, and it was a strain for me to sing, so that whenever I went flat or sharp, I whinced. Jaye, the Count-composer, told me not to worry, since they could easily edit my voice to adjust the sharps and flats and make it sound cleaner.

Ara: O.O you mean...
Ben: Oh you should hear Miley Cyrus before editing, there's really nothing there.

And here I was, pressured to get voice lessons because my voice didn't sound record-perfect, when it turns out half of the people on the airwaves owe their perfection to Cake Walk.

So I sold out. I sang their pop teen song and went home. In the taxi, ate Jean (who had been baptized "Diane" by Ben) asked me if I could still remember the song. I don't. My system flushed it out of me as soon as it could. Heeheehee

Burnt Out

2009-08-16T13:47:00.000+08:00

I'm all for self exploration, and for the past years, that's all I've ever been doing. In the beginning of the year, I'd been semi-lectured by a professor about not having decided on a specialization. But it's not like I haven't tried. I'd been trying to get a feel for which communication field I was more attuned to and I can't quite get exactly which field I'd do best in. In fact, I'm starting to feel as if I don't have what it takes to be the best in anything.

Growing up, I'd wanted to be many things, but before everything, I wanted to be a painter. Then I wanted to be a cartoonist, and was always drawings pictures with stories. I'd started painting oil portraits at 7.

And then life happened. I couldn't afford art materials anymore and could only afford pencils. I stopped painting, learned editorial cartooning, but even then, life was still getting to me. There were more critics than support, and the constant nagging by almost everyone that art would get you hungry and that comfort meant a job behind a desk and a steady pay made me give up.

When I was choosing a course, my options were architecture, psychology and masscomm. When people from high school would ask why I didn't take up fine arts, I'd say there wasn't any money in it.

Isn't it unfortunate when you find out that the option you closed off would have been better than the seemingly better option at the time? I'm finishing masscomm in a year and a half, and it's not because I was bad at majors or anything. It's just that I feel as if I'd just learned the basics to everything and not enough to be intermediate at anything. Or maybe my standards are too high.

In arts on the other hand, given the proper training, I could have focused on conceptual art. Drawing, at the very least, is skills-based. You tell me what to draw and I'll draw it for you. As long as I know how to draw. But I dropped my pencil a long time ago. I'd stopped rabidly drawing from days on end as if that was the only thing I could do. I figured if I had taken up an art course, I could have gone back. The pressure from a school environment would have prompted me to hone my skills, inspiration or no, the way warmages are taught to wear armor while casting spells. The weight would be difficult in the beginning, but it would breed discipline.

But then again, would doing Concept Art for a living pay? My art-school dean friend says it does. As long as you were willing to please the customer (learning to sell your skills and not your soul). And as long as you don't hope for work in this country, because we're going hungry, and the people actually earning here are in the business of the living and the dead. It's too late to find out if I have any leanings towards medical courses, I'm not about to become an embalmer, and there's too much competition in the food business. Blah, everything's a gamble, but that's another story.

But what are my other options? Or what options do I still really have now that independence is breathing down my neck?

There's also film, but even that seems bleak. The Philippines' movie scene is terribly dark. If you aren't making easy to swallow-escapist movies, you go nowhere. Im an escapist, but Im told my concepts are too cerebral for the masses. And film is a collaborative medium. If you can't work with people, you're doomed. I'm semi antisocial. And my experiences with Bida Complex, though far too little for me to actually judge, kinda tell me Im going to find it difficult to adjust.

I feel blind. I know there are difficulties whatever path I choose, but one can't help wanting to figure out where one would least suck, and try hard enough NOT to suck, so that in the end, you can say that you at least tried your best, despite your best not being enough.

These are times I curse my artistic forebearers and wish I'd been more left-brained.

Fly Pancakes and a potentially popped vein

2009-08-10T11:26:00.000+08:00

I have not slept a wink. My right eye looks like it's popped a vein, and it may have. And now that it's been mentioned, it's beginning to manifest. Ouch.

I was up late, drawn into a world of demons and angels, of gods and demigods, of esoteric banality (blashpemy isn't necessarily synonymous. Isn't that why I enjoy Gaiman?). And it's usually due to being sucked into fantasy worlds that I lose sleep. Even with my eyes closed.

I find it a little disconcerting how comfortable I am in pastiche. How I can easily settle with suspesion of disbelief because I am shown things familiar to me - my own meanderings. I am aware of the pull of seduction. But I don't doubt my lack of it any longer. I nitpick tho. Why are his secondary heroes always either fierce women or spineless dipshits? Why are his usual main protagonists self-serving assholes? I also can't help but notice that in Gaiman's stories, domestic tragedies are usually irrelevant, unless you were some immortal's spit borne.

Which leads me back to the reason for my escapism, from the fire back to the pan.

To my own little domestic tragedy and a realization. We let our tragedies slick off our shiny little bodies or e turn out lives upside down for conclusion. It's all we have. Aren't we all just flies after all?

And Im a fly pancake, if you've ever seen one.

(I'm on volume 56 of Lucifer)

The Proverbial Popped Cherry (Outpost, first gig journal)

2009-08-06T12:22:00.000+08:00

I'm going to try telling it in reverse.

I woke up at noon today. We have another gig later this evening at UP, Prequel to Cook Out. We're not playing for Cook Out itself tho.

I went to bed at 2am, after coming from McDo escario to hang out with my gaming buddies, CORPSE, post-gig.

Sam went home at 1am, c/o Jan, who completely missed the show. Isorayt Jan, you get first dibs on the video once it's uploaded :) And there'll be other gigs.

At 12 midnight, Karl, cousin/cam holder/ and all around amazing kid went home to go beddybye. Anton arrived, who also completely missed the show. He caught up at McDo where Baisac and Jan turned paparazzi.

At 11ish, we played. It was so much different from playing for Dama. Like I'd told Sam earlier that night, Dama felt like Theater. This, on the other hand, felt like rock and roll.

The last song, If I can, was written by Ate Yan Redoble, some 8 years ago, but ti was only recently when I became the Hastang banshee that it had been arranged the way it is now. it is far shorter than the original version, and not as heart-rending. Imma be posting it one of these days so that you know what I mean. I loved performing it. I hope we accomplish something like this again.

The second to the last song was Ode, based off a poem I had written late last year (The Ode to the Half Moon) The chorus was written in a couple of weeks ago, after Gaw gave me riffs for it.

The 4th song was Taming of the Shrew. When we were making this one, we had meant to just turn another one of my poems into a song, but the words didnt fit the riffs. Guile and Gaw prolly shit melody every day it wouldnt matter to them, but I liked the riffs too much to throw them away. The verses were done in an hour, and the chorus came to me a day after, also in an hour. This song just came together so fast it was unbelievable. Playing it was just fun. xD

The third song was a cover of Stone Temple Pilot's Vasoline. The song was more relaxing on my part (no pressure on the vocal chords at all), but I really liked the underlying meaning. I guess everyone gets those days when you feel like a trapped fly. So much for wings and sth. Oh well.

The second was an older original, When Misery Speaks, which was set lower than the original key to accomodate my voice. When i first auditioned for Hastang, they made me learn two pre-recorded original songs of theirs. The other was Oblivion, and I was free to choose whatever I wanted from their website. I chose When Misery Speaks because it had a lot of promise.

The first was a cover of Audioslave's Cochise, my original audition piece for Hastang. I have to admit that I knew very little about Hastang. I admittedly knew near nothing about the local band scene, but I'd wanted to play Cochise before, back when I was still with Dama. On the phone with Boss Mark for the first time, I remember him stopping short after I asked them if I could sing Cochise. Then he laughed and said yes. Much later, I found out they were big Audioslave fans, and that they'd always wanted to do music much like Audioslave, except their old vocalist couldn't do Rock and Roll.

We were supposed to be third to play. A mix up happened with the emcee, who introduced us second. But what the heck. We started playing.

Outpost was almost packed when we got there, I'm sure, mostly with Missing Filemon and Sheila and the Insects fans. There were a couple of familiar faces, and a sea of people who made me feel... to put it simply... young.

Before heading to the outpost, I spent the entire day in bed, sporadically logging on to read webcomics and check mail.

Because the world is round, it turns me on

2009-08-04T14:02:00.000+08:00

Over Persian food and yogurt last night, I put my life into perspective. I rehashed what was worth mulling over and what was worth letting slip if I don't want to further fuss up life.

Today in math class, I couldn't pay attention to what the teacher was talking about, so I played a game with myself. I made a little ball in my mind, of all the things I was mulling over, made it a little ball, and let it fall out the window.

And now I know how to make parabolas and circles. I'm fine.

In fact I was so fine I consumed most of the grande I was sharing with Eds Pax and Pangs. I wrote it out and let whatever remained go.

Afterwards I was lucid and so much better. I also managed to write a new song. Imaginary ewoks and silent "friends" be damned.

Speaking of friends, I'm friends with Epot again. We caught up a bit. Turns out he had still been reading my private blog a couple of months ago, so I didn't have to talk much, which was great. He talked about how he'd patched things up with his family, but was enjoying independence too much to go back to living with them. He asked about old friends, talked about work, geekery, this and that...

And then Eds finished a new song stanza and Pangs and Epot started talking warhammer. I wandered off to find coffee to sober up.

And if all goes well tomorrow, Ill manage to patch things up with my family as well. Kapoy na'g emo emo.

which reminds me, that Anton reminded me last night that I haven't been really talking about the Outpost gig.

So to those who dunno, I'm the new Hastang banshee. We're playing for the technical first time tomorrow at the Outpost, at around 10pm with Missing Filemon, Sheila and the Insects, Happy Hours, and Julia. See you when I see you (given the lights don't blind me) ^_^

The Strange Hair Day

2009-08-02T13:51:00.000+08:00

The day started off well enough. I'd gotten money someone owed me, with which I bought a shirt a friend designed, which turned out to be the very last one, and on top of that, I'd managed to make a costume prop out of random stuff I bought at the mall. I'd reminded the girl I'd rented a wig from that morning that I was using it that night instead of yesterday like I'd told her when we last saw each other, so I asked if I could get it. Apparently, she hadn't taken it from the girl who rented it before me yet. Later, she texted that the girl couldn't be reached.

This lead to a series of unanswered phone calls, phones being shut off, weird text messages, hurried jeepney rides, would-have-been taxi rides, a potentially empty wallet, etc etc etc

I needed the wig for a shoot I was doing. I'd already paid for the wig, excited that I didn't have to cut my hair (that I'd been growing so paintakingly for several months).

But by 3pm, both renter AND rentee turned their phones off and I was left extremely frustrated and angry and left with no other choice than to cut my hair. I was thinking, if you want something done properly, there are things you have to give up.

Calltime was at 5pm, so I went off to ayala to find a hairdresser who could do the hairstyle. It was one suited for straight hair. I had wavy poofy hair, and I needed to know what sort of temporary treatment my hair would have to undergo to get the hairstyle I wanted. Most salons had waitlists, except for David's. So off I went, to wait for the stylist they called Mr. Collins (or something that began with a "c" and sounded english). The dude was bald and asian, and he started talking to me in a strange accent in english, so i thought he couldve been Singaporean or something non-filipino, like Bridges' stylist. So I responded in english. I told him I wanted a duck tail at the back, and bangs that framed my face.

He didn't understand what I meant. He suggested I get a semi-rebond. When I said I wasn't getting one, he frowned and walked off. Another hairdresser came up to me and said we could just set my hair for the meantime, and then cut it the way I wanted, etc etc. I said okay, and sat down. Mr C came back to cut my bangs, and then left.

I was waiting for him to come back to do the ducktail. But he didn't. I asked the attendant about it when Mr C came back, insisting in tagalog that my hair was curly, there was no way he could cut my hair short etc etc etc.

We had a little argument in the store, where he started speaking Cebuano. If you're a hairdresser and you're reading this, please don't be condescending to your customers, and if you don't understand what they want, try to talk to them about it instead of pretending as if you do.

I left in a huff, refusing their offer for a shampoo, went to the parlor across the street from my boarding house, and got my hair done exactly the way it should have looked at half the price David's would have asked.

It was of course, one thing to have the hair styled and ironed out, and I was still afraid the hair would turn out into a nightmare once the wax was off. After the shoot was over, I was at a friend's house for a party he threw his daughter. I washed my hair, dried it and let them take pichurs.

I think it looks great. Eat that Mr C :P

Too High To Care (Updharma Down Concert inspired)

2009-07-31T22:13:00.002+08:00

"our sweetest songs are our saddest" - Percy Bysse Shelley

"the most universal thing in the world isn't love, but heartbreak" - Armi Millare, keyboards/vocals of Up Dharma Down, August 1, 2009 (not verbatum)

~~~

I was feeling lazy today, a bit chipper, but better than I'd been in a while. I was reading through facebook messages, one of which was from my cousin, Karl, who asked me if I was planning to go to the Updharmadown concert at ayala. Unfortunately, the concert had already started by the time I read the message. I was bent on hearing them at Handuraw tho, and I figured I'd at least be able to sit if I went early, compared to having to squeeze with the rest of the mall.

So I began my so-called "camp out" at 5pm. The concert was at 9. I spent the time by playing sims.

I am not a fangirl. I barely remember details about bands, like their members' names, what sort of personal hells they were going through to produce this and that song, etc etc. When I say I am a fan, I say it because I dig something. And I've digged Updharmadown ever since I first heard them.

I have to admit that personally, it's the vocals that got me hooked. It's not just that she has amazing control, but the quality of her voice as well. But vocals can only go so far (no matter how beautiful). Whoever makes their music is a real artist. If the vibe and music of the band didn't complement her singing perfectly, I wouldn't be this dumbstruck (I'm obviously not thinking this through). Nor might I have braved the odd looks from patrons for playing sims at a restaurant with the absence of a party/sidekick.

At 7, people started pouring in. A couple of bands were setting up, soundchecking and stuff. A band called the Undercover grasshoppers went first. They had a female vocalist, who did her own lead guitars. Cool. Initially, she sounded a bit Paramore-ish. The feeling sort of waned after the 2nd song.

The next band called themselves "Rescue A Hero". They brought in a synth, which raised my brow a bit. They soundchecked with it, which made me think they were actually using it. But they played their entire line up without ever using it. For shame. Music was okay, if you like pop, and if the off-key singing at times doesn't get to you.

Then Ian Zafra. Yes Ian Zafra. Some girl behind me screamed to make him get off the stage to make way for UdD. 'How rude' I thought, as I continued my solitaire game. (-_-;; speak for yourself)

And then he was gone, and we waited for what seemed like a gazillion years before UdD started their soundcheck. There were a few announcements over some cars that were blocking the driveway or something. By this time, I had shut down Felix and had just realized that the place was packed. I was wondering out loud how the vocalist would be able to pass. She came out at the kitchen, heralded by raised cellphones and digicams, all trying to take shots of her. She climbed over a banister to get to the stage. She asked for a bottle of water, read out announcements about cars being towed, and then a few minutes after 12 midnight, she began singing.

And then I died and went to heaven. Except there was only one angel. Who squinted her eyes and gritted her teeth every time she released a vibratto. But it was fine. She was still pretty. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Yay for being able to get a chair close to the stage xD

She was very composed, almost never made eye contact with the crowd, and spoke very little. She appealed to me no way any pompous "rock star" could because her voice alone had enough personality to swallow you whole and make you want to turn gay. Or something like that.

When she played "Oo", the audience of mostly girls started singing with her (including me). They played a couple of songs that I admittedly have never heard, but instantly fell in love with.

At 1:10, I left. I didn't wait for the band to finish their last song. I didn't wait til she could sign me an autograph or anything. I'd just seen the most inspiring performance of my entire life (so far. The last one was a ballet at the CCP when I was 7), and I was so giddy it almost felt criminal.

I need a mindfuck/ wanted, roleplayers

2009-07-29T16:41:00.000+08:00

School's boring again. I want something for my brain to screw around with lest I go on mental ulcer. I propose a Nobilis game.

Nobilis is a roleplaying game. This is how it works, according to wikipedia: the player characters are "Sovereign Powers" called the Nobilis; each Noble is the personification of an abstract concept or class of things such as Time, Death, cars, or communication. Unlike most role-playing games, Nobilis does not use dice or other random elements to determine the outcome of characters' actions, but instead uses a Karma-based system for task resolution.

Anyone can participate. Just pick a concept/ideology you want to embody. Here's a guide to making a character: http://www.mygurps.com/nobilis/characters.html

If you're interested, email me your character concept @ mutangpusa@gmail.com. I'll send you a link to the handbook if you want to DL it.

Game will be conducted through email.

Bida Complex Shooting (It's a Wrap xD)

2009-04-04T07:05:00.000+08:00

As much as I'd like to talk of the experience in detail, I'm too exhausted to blog. Imma try to remember what to discuss while it's still fresh. I hate my memory.

Day 1 was the most exhausting day evar. The schedule was extremely hectic. Yay for Uncle Mulong who lent us his car; and yay for cars that turn into dollies. Yay for the Tudtuds who had to put up with a bunch of noisy college students who thought they were filmmakers. Hehehe. Lol for expressions that get imbedded into the dialogue (Lololololol). Guada claimed that if one closed their eyes and listened to the direction and instructions flying about, it was almost as if we were at the set of a porn movie. Dumdumdumdum. At one point, for a "facial shot", DP, in her blue stockings and cute little shorts stood over Guada to shoot her face. And yes, we have pictures of that ;)

Day 2, everyone was late, and I couldn't blame them given we went home at almost 2am the previous day. One of the PAs told us his nosebleeding from the previous night turned out to be leukemia. On the way to USJR in Colon, Producer told us the theater was in Basak, not Colon. As the taxi detoured towards the new location, he called back and told us to go to Colon. April fooled we were. We were able to drag in a bunch of high school students to extra as the audience. Later, to light up a street for a mugging scene, one of the PAs did monkey magic by climbing over her roof to let an extension cable through her window for our lightbox. We chose that particular street because not many vehicles passed by. Within 20 minutes of shooting, taxis kept passing by, so we'd have to stop til they were out. The crew noticed that the same taxis were passing by, as well as the same groups of people. Same thing happened when we transferred to Nick's irl house's corner to shoot the money shot (*wink wink*).

This is unrelated to production, but I got news that one of my mom's brothers had died from a cardiac arrest that morning. I think it should be sad for someone to die on April Fool's Day.

Day 3 was lax in contrast with the previous days. We shot at UP, so after taking shots of Sir Anton's class where Nick got his face bruised up by 3 pretty girls (masochist much), we took filler shots around campus. Yay for the Tornillas for bringing pizza xD. We moved to Colon to take more fillers. Outside Tuxedo pension, we almost couldn't shoot outside because a horde of YFC ILC participants were checking in. We ended early because Guada had RL matters to attend to.

Day 4 was full of happy accidents. This was the day we were to shoot everything we couldn't for the previous days. We went back to UP for dialogue scenes. DP had left, since it turns out she still had an exam to take on Saturday, so cinematog was left to me and Producer. After UP, we went hunting the bowels of Jones for the location of the "movie house". It kinda took us a while before we found the Enovlink Training Center. Then we went back to UP to take more fillers, and then to Talamban for the supposedly hardest scene in the movie. Surprisingly, it only took about 15 hours, instead of the 2 hours I had imagined it would take. My list of movie magic cheats is growing. xD. We did the Haunted house scene, shot the manananggal, and travelled back to Lahug to hunt for the next outdoor scene location. Everyone was exhausted, so to save time, we were stopping at a shed to shoot a taxi scene. Unfortunately, there weren't any passing taxis to hire. When we finally got one, Guada and I got in the taxi to shoot. Suddenly, what seemed like a guild of men in blue outfits with acronyms on their uniforms were surrounding us. The crast and crew were caught off guard, so off guard I wasn't able to capture it on tape. I thought we were going to jail. The Mugger still had Guada's knife, and Nick was already taking his shirt off and showing the police that his nipples were harmless. As soona as they saw me with the camera, they left. lulz. I thought they were CITOM in darker uniforms. Producer said they were something more sinister...
We moved back to Nick's irl house for the last (and most important) scene. As soon as people got on the sofa, they all started snoozing. I let them sleep while I reviewed the tapes. Then it was time to shoot.

Amazingly, it actually started raining, in the rain scene. Happiest accident right there xD

We ended at 3am.

Turning Epic

2009-03-29T11:34:00.000+08:00

In barely 2 weeks, I'll be in Malapascua with the family, since one of my cousin's celebrating his birthday a day before mine, and he lives in Manila where the beach is a distant dream. So much for locking myself up for the day. In the following weeks, I'll be too busy filming my thesis to be able to contemplate on what turning 2 decades older means for me.

It'll no longer be just about farming mobs in the field anymore. If ever, the monsters will only be bigger, the hurdles more brutal, but it'll take more than just chance and charm to get through. Chance will become an imaginary friend, charm will no longer be default, and comfort will become a luxury. The great part about growing up is that options expand. The hard part is that I can't just lie in bed when I'm tired of the world because I can no longer expect anyone to put food on my table/cook/clean for me anymore.

In a few weeks, I'll be working on my driver's license. In a few months, I'll be mulling over car expenses. In a year, I'll be worrying about paychecks, or if all goes according to plan, I'll be worrying about what sort of income-generating-gimmick to pull off. In a few years, if I don't end up in a nuthouse, I'll have formed a nest of sorts, with partner and child or sans both. I'll be well on my way towards middle life crisis. Etc etc etc...

And there's no stopping time, and there's no way I can help it.

But it doesn't mean I can't enjoy the ride either. Tweenies, here I come.

I'd like to turn this into a graphic novel: (A History of Locus Inverness; a repost)

2009-03-27T09:56:00.000+08:00

Inverness in Oil is the only painting the late Giovanni Belcinni ever worked on. He started working on it in his late 20's. He died before he was able to complete it. His four sons all tried finishing it, but couldn't seem to find out how to duplicate or even parallel their father's style. Three of them died before the fourth figured out what paint his father used for the skies. Human blood. The fourth religiously followed his father's pattern of using the blood of drunken prostitutes to make his solution. The painting was magnificent. The youngest Belcinni son was found pale as a ghost in his father's studio the morning the paint dried.

Death count: 34. (4 sons, 1 father, 29 women)

The painting was shipped from place to place, first to the home of the Belcinni's art patron, whose family died of an unknown disease in the week that the Painting graced their living room hall. Then the servants followed their masters to the grave. The last to go was the cook, who took the painting to a priest.

Death count: 14 (1 mother, 1 father, 2 daughters, 1 son, 1 butler, 2 maid servants, 2 gardeners, 3 pageboys, 1 cook)

The Monastery closed after 48 years.

The painting was by then picked up by a couple of teenagers who heard it was cursed. But there was nobody alive to tell them that.

Death count: 48 (44 nuns, 2 mother superiors, 2 priests)

A total of a hundred deaths in a hundred years.
Right Hugin?
Yes Munin.

Kasi ganito nga daw kami magchill

2009-03-21T20:42:00.000+08:00

Kasi late akong dumating sa exam ko kanina kasi inumaga akong nagbasa nung readings, putragis, kalahati lang nasagot ko, sabaw pa utak ng lola mo.

Wala akong magawa, kaya nakibuntot nalang ako kay pangs. buti pa siya, may nagawa pa sa buhay niya. Pinag-usapan namin yung BC, yung pagdadagdag ng mga eksena, yung paglalagay ng mga goons, yung paglalagay ng green screen para sa mga 3d na aswang, etc.

Sa huli, sa school din kami napadpad, nag-iisip ng pwedeng magawa. Naisip naming mag L4D. Tinawagan ko yung mga uwak na kalaro ko at nakausap kong gusto ding makalaro. Nabitbit namin si Karl at Faith sa Ge-Cube sa may USC; at nagmistulang mga rebelde sa karagatan ng mga naglalaro ng DoTA. Bahala kayo sa mga buhay nyo, masayang suimigaw basta nakakatakot ang tugtog.

Pagkatapos ng dalawang larong umabot ng isa't kalahating oras na pinuno ng sigaw ni Faith, nagkoro na ang mga tiyan, at nagsilikas na kami upang makakain ng hapunan. Sabi ni Pangs, sitsit daw ng sitsit yung mga nagdodota para tumahimik kami. Hindi namin napansin kasi sumisigaw din sila.

Nangimbita pa kasi pinsan ni Faith na pumunta kaming Outpost, at ako din ang nagpilit na magpunta kami, kaya napadpad kaming lahat dun. Reggae daw. Chill.

Pagdating dun, sumakit lang ulo ko sa dami ng tao. Pakiramdam ko tuloy, sumabak kami sa isang misyon na puro horde at smokers ang kalaban. Ang masaklap, wala kaming dalang baril. Bwiset.

A Couple of Dreams in a Single Night

2009-03-12T11:47:00.000+08:00

I had a weird dream, where
we visited a Joker/A Jack who had
a house like a canopy
Open in the midst of a garden
A walled aquarium
That looked like a brook
And a lot of strange pets;
One bat that looked like a puppy
And a cat that looked like a hyena

He used to have a birdhouse, but that story isn't for you

The Anthill

In a mountain was a family
of a King, his first
family, and his second family.
His first wife died, and his baby
disguised, so that when the second
wife came, she did not recognize
the baby as the crown princess

The baby had a betrothed,
who was imprisoned by the new queen
as she demanded he wed her own daughter
a huge ugly thing

He resisted, not for memory of his betrothed
But because he fell sick at the sight of
the new princess

Meanwhile the baby grew up in her
father's household as a servant
For her father had no power

But the servants spoke of the princess
As the heiress, and the queen feared
So she searched for the princess' wherabouts
Not knowing the child princess saw her
doing her magic, looking for the real heir

The real princess saw, but she did not
understand; for she herself didnt know who
she really was; Instead she went to school; made
lists for her class of things they should
be investigating; went to the concerts to fawn at
boys from the high school below their hillock
And thought unprincess-like thoughts

This mountain community lived by a road; used
by monsters who sent oiled slaves up the mountains -
Treants, to do their bidding

This treant, as it seemed, was female, so that
when she arrived to the top of the mountain;
her masters were displeased, so they sent her down carelessly
meaning for her to die; because the line of masters only sent up;
not back down

So halfway, she went on the same adventure she took upwards
Passing by a small brook with sweet water; and ending up in a lake
within a univerCity

At the univerCity is a small coffee shop; which is unlike any of our own
They have kilns with which one can cook one's own coffee and bread
And the coffee is roughened with milk from a seed; and a little dew is tossed in
So that the coffee tastes more like tea than coffee; and the water is from the
sweet tasting brook

And the univerCity is a cacophony of elements;

A woman and what seems to be a baby kissing

and it is revealed that the baby is a mountain-side native (for they are a short
stock and all look like human children); her lover

~~~

This is me trying to right my dreams down immediately after dreaming them; the mountain people in my dream were hobbit-like; and the treants had two forms: real uprooted trees; and strange monsters who looked like the aliens from that movie where Sigourney Weaver was bald.

Bida Complex Updates

2009-03-05T12:28:00.000+08:00

No more Rome again. Turns out he has a school tour on the shooting dates. Hahay.

Also, does anyone have a nice house we can use as Guada's "mansion"? All we need are a fancy dining room and a fancy room.

Bida Complex; Meeting The Cast (for documentation purposes)

2009-03-02T19:42:00.000+08:00

What was originally a file exchange session with Nica turned into a cast meet up. Lol.

The dude I got to play Nick previously turned out to be too stiff beside Guada. And Nick's supposed to be the laid back one, so I had to look for another one. Turns out, Nichole knew a guy all this time and just never considered him til the last minute. Desperation is wonderful sometimes.

The guy's name is Carlo Alonso. Nica told me to look his friendster up, and I wasn't really getting anything cept that yes, he was tall and dorky looking, until I saw one particular picture. It was of the Tin Man from the Witches of Oz disaster a couple years back (2007), and I remember that he was one of the few things I liked about that play. I did a little bit more research and found out his sarcastic lines were all ad libbed (win!!!). Nica also mentioned that he could pull off Asshole because he already was one. I was sold. I PMed him right away and asked Ate Chai for back up. This morning, he confirmed, saying he was very interested. For some reason, Nica didn't want me to tell him what part she was playing in the production.

So the Nick problem was only partly solved. I had to meet him irl and I needed to see him and Nica together.

As for Rome, I got Mr Cebu 2008 candidate Bassanio Causin Jr. He's never acted for an indie, but since he passed the only requirement for this role (looking good enough to eat right Nica?), he was in.

Bass said he was free that afternoon, and since I was going out to meet Nica at Coffee Dream anyway, I told him to meet us there.

He showed up smelling prettier than Nica and me (naulaw ko), but he made up for it by being very unassuming. He had to leave to go to class tho, leaving me and Nica waiting for Carlo (who said he'd catch up at the last minute).

Carlo arrived, and he turned out very easy to talk to. He easily figured out the psychological framework for the character. He even had the nuances figured out, which was cool, since I didn't have to spoonfeed anymore. We just hung out, transferred outside when it got darker and cooler outside, and just talked. Nica and Carlo were easily Guada and Nick (love-hate relationship much XD), and they even did on the spot improvs of their scripts. They're both witty, so it was great.

Pangs caught up, and we all ended up just talking and talking, ending up going for grub at the corner carenderia. After sitting at the balcony for a while, the boys went home.

Also, a bunch of friends have agreed to play minor roles (watch out for Anton and Heno, hehehe). I still haven't gotten anyone to play the moms tho, and these roles are proving to be the hardest to fill out.

LF: people to work on Bida Complex for peanuts

2009-02-28T06:34:00.000+08:00

I needs me a crew T_T

I'll be shooting from March 31 to April 3.

All I need from you is your time, your common sense, and your bodies (lulz).

If interested, PM me here.

Of love lost and peanut butter

2009-02-26T18:58:00.000+08:00

Dear Nica,

I don't really know how to tell you this, our romance is over. I think I realized it when I tripped on peanut butter in your car and I saw you pull the clothes off my boyfriend. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I am better off without you and the apartment building is on fire.

warm tingly sensations,
Ara

Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Name

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

Argao has wifi and zombies

2009-02-22T09:50:00.000+08:00

Currently at Argao for STS with Madz. It's interesting to sift through town, gathering information on the culture of the place. It's a completely different adventure, when all you have to guide you are high school natives who drag you off to haunted trees in the middle of the forest to tell you about ghost stories they grew up to.

Because of the nature of our visit, it seemed everything seemingly dreary and dusty came alive. The old hunk of rust in someone's backyard suddenly turned into a link to the dead sugar milling past of a certain barrio; the sleepy town remembered olf family feuds and connections while we took pictures of their homes; the molds hinted that where there were modern houses and gardens, there used to be a sea.

And even while you can clearly picture out what it was like in 19th century Sali-Argaw specially with the way the pueblo looks, the church and park have wifi :D Great compromise I think. I can't keep myself from feeling bad about my own hometown, Biliran, where people prefer to replace ancient and beautiful old houses with cement abominations that have no aesthetic or architectural sense at all.

And at the end of the day, I was pooped and dehydrated and aching all over, but I thought only that this entire town wouldn't be what it is today, if it weren't for horny priests.

Pictures shall be posted later.

(After thought: Fr. Zamora gets around a lot. We also have a Fr. Zamora street back in Naval. And the zombies shall be followed up through pictures later)

Much guilt

2009-02-17T15:57:00.000+08:00

ONE RULE
You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

Danced on a table in a bar? – Innocent

Ever told a lie? – Guilty

Had feelings for someone whom you can't have back? - Guilty

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Innocent

Kissed a picture? - Guilty

Slept in until 5 PM? - Guilty

Fallen asleep at work/school? - Guilty

Held a snake? - Guilty

Been suspended from school? - Innocent

Worked at a fast food restaurant? - Innocent

Stolen from a store? - Innocent

Been fired from a job? - Innocent

Done something you regret? - Guilty

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? - Guilty

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Innocent

Kissed in the rain? - Innocent

Sat on a roof top? - Guilty

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Innocent

Shaved your head? - Guilty

Slept naked? - Guilty

Had a boxing membership? - Innocent

Made your boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - Innocent

Been in a band? - Guilty

Shot a gun? - Guilty

Donated blood? - Innocent

Eaten alligator meat? - Innocent

Eaten cheesecake? - Guilty

Loved someone you shouldn't? - Innocent

Have or had a tattoo? - Innocent

Liked someone, but will never tell who? - Innocent

Been too honest? - Guilty

Ruined a surprise? - Guilty

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you cant walk afterwards? - Guilty

Erased someone in your friends list? - Guilty

Dressed in a woman's clothes (if you're a guy) or a man's clothes (if you're a girl)? - Guilty

Joined a pageant? - Guilty

Been told that you're handsome/beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? - Guilty

Get totally drunk one night and you have an important exam tomorrow morning? - Innocent

A total stranger treat you by paying your jeepney fare? - Guilty

Get totally angry that you cried so hard? - Guilty

~~~
I can explain!!! LOL

25 things before 25

2009-02-15T19:50:00.000+08:00

1. Learn how to drive a car - learned how to drive stick shift from my cousin, Kuya Jing early last year with an uncle's broken jeep. The first thing I did behind the wheel was to crash the car to a trash bin
2. Earn $1000
3. Cook a full course meal
4. Sew an outfit myself
5. Write a book
6. Climb a mountain - sometime before last year ended, my mom dragged my lazy ass off the PC chair and brought me across the sea to look for a tree for our house on top of a family friend's mountain.
7. Film an indie flick - I starred in one, as a girl who was trying to break up with her bf for his identical brother before they get into a car accident. But this doesnt count as actually filming one myself. I hope to accomplish this with Bida Complex though.
8. Sell a print on DA
9. Go to Bohol - bought the Tshirt, kissed the tarsier.
10. Pose nude - while looking my worst. I was depressed, lacked sleep, and out of shape. I wonder how the painting's turning out...
11. Organize a surprise party
12. Contribute to Reader's Digest
13. Make the Dean's List - it was one of the most unexpected things. I thought I was failing half of my subjects, but turns out I aced them.
14. LARP - for otaku fest, yes. I was a drow with a skin disease wearing +2 leather
15. Learn how to speak another language - Thank you qwertyuyiop for the frenchie CDs, will play them after school's out.
16. Visit another country
17. See someone die
18. Wath a birthing
19. Perform for theater
20. Get a Dama de Noche album launched
21. Find out about my dad - He died November 7, 2008 at around 5pm. Just found out.
22. Name a baby
23. Talk to one of my fave musicians/authors
24. Paint a mural
25. Get a moondance

Of Toilet Etiquette and Day Spoilers

2009-02-13T03:42:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning to the ranting of my landlady right outside my window, talking about someone who left one of her toilet bowls piss colored. She was saying she suspected someone who was up most of the night, at round midnight to 4am. I, the resident insomniac, was the only suspect.

What I was so pissed (no pun intended) about was the fact that I dont even remember going to the potty to take a leak last night because I'd already done so in the past. And for the past months that I'd hear the landlady rant, I would wonder if there was something wrong with the flush, that if I left the toilet water looking crystal clear enough to drink, it somehow pukes out some of the piss to mix with the water.

In my stay at this house, and in the time I'm up at night, other people use the loo. Why blame me just because I'm up all night?

I wonder why I always end up being blamed for things that people get peeved about. Do I look so sneaky? So cunning? That using the loo and NOT FLUSHING in the middle of the night would seem a crime fit me? Jusko naman. I may be nocturnal but I'm not so evil I would intend to show her yellow. Eugh.

Hasty generalizing bitch. If she thought I was such a delinquent, let's see what she has to say if I did something extreme to the toilet bowl. Like blow the toilet bowl up or killed a small animal over it.

I can barely sleep at night and she steals a couple of hours from my sleep by blaming me for something as inane as forgetting to flush. And this isn't the first time.

I cry justice! I feel like im being set up. The world is unfair. It's so easy to point fingers at those who look the part of the villain. I can't even say who it is either because I'm only ever here when I'm asleep or when I'm on the balcony, leeching off wifi.
...

Ok, did I just say I cry justice?

I makes myself lulz.

But I still feel that if I talked to the landlady about this, I might call her a hasty generalizing bitch. Maybe I'll do that right before I leave this place. I also wonder if I can sue her for stealing a few hours of my sleep.

Bida Complex

2009-02-12T12:57:00.000+08:00

Looking for people to portray the following characters:

Rome - Tall, broad shouldered, has kind eyes. Comes from a rich family (high society). Is very charismatic, very sympatico. Stereotypical prince charming. 18-25 y.o.

Nick - Tall, lean body type, strong eyes. Street smart, no nonsense, bad ass without trying. Seems to fit the silent but deadly stereotype, but the only thing deadly about him is his wit. 18-25 y.o.

Minerva - Dignified. Newly widowed. High Society. Very very stressed, but still manages to maintain her poise. Slim. 40-late 40's

Stella - Sarcastic. Classy. Princess. Minerva's daughter. 16-20 y.o.

If interested, please contact me/email me at 09163968495/mute_laughter89@yahoo.com or mutangpusa@gmail.com or PM me here. I'll spill the details only if you're interested. The movie will be entitled "Bida Complex"

~~~

I am terribly desperate. I found someone to play Guada, and she is cute. The problem is that I can't find cute guys to match. The script's a mix of english and bisaya.

Red Paper: It's not like we chose to be painted such.

2009-02-09T17:04:00.000+08:00

Gusto ka magbutang ug issues sa tug-ani?

Write for us, so that I dont keep on receiving news articles from the same people, from the same sources. Natural ra nga mao nay mogawas nga mga klase nga balita kay people with vested interests ra man ang molihok sa paper.

Walay ganahan mageffort kung wala silay makuha. I try to be as objective as possible with assignments and stuff. I give out assignments about stuff we pick up from all around school, but nobody meets deadlines, much less end up submitting material. It takes so much time to cajole people into writing about stuff and I'm getting the impression that they merely nod to make me go away. You want to hear a sad story? One supposed writer sent me an article that was a corrupt file, CC'd to someone else. She said the file was her article. I tried asking her about where the article went and she said she'd talk to me about it one of these days. I never heard from her again.

My number is posted all over school. I am so harrass-worthy and yet I never hear from you supposed caring individuals. We're not even running application schemes for people just to work for the paper. We want to make the most of taxpayers' money but nobody cares enough to write about relevant school issues. Same reason why we havent been coming out with issues for the past months. What do you want me to do? Write everything by myself? Lol. I seriously cannot edit myself objectively. I dont even have working assistant editors for crying out loud.

Rey, It's refreshing that you actually care about what the paper says. I also notice that you like writing about school politics. Why don't you write for us? Seriously, all you had to do was ask. I'll even put a column up for you. But I seriously need more news writers. Labi na nga hapit nang election. But I do hope you dont keep writing about color coding in your columns. I noticed your blog entries tend to be formulaic that way. Although LIGAYA would like to be featured sometimes, them being all rainbow colored and sth.

On the headline: It was an irony that we wanted to bring out. It's interesting that a chairperson would go against the stand of the body he represents. Ironies make good headlines. Way personalay, sa maigo lang. Besides, there was another article on his stand on the same page as that article, written also by Idyll because she wrote the first one. I deliberately told her to go get the story a day before we gave it to the publishers because I received her story the previous day pa.

Sayang bitaw ang taxes noh? And if I hadn't published, I'd be hearing the same line.

25 (tagged for the enth time)

2009-02-03T18:14:00.000+08:00

Because answering tags are a great way to distract oneself

1. I like fluffy pink things at night. Makes me think of cribs.

2. I will leech wifi off anywhere I can find it

3. I name my stuff just so that I get attached to them

4. I hate getting cold feet

5. My parents used to sell houses, and when they showed houses off, my brother and I tagged along. I loved the smell of freshly painted walls so much that I'd sneak in new houses with my friends around the neighborhood just to get a whiff.

6. I like watching people. Just as long as they don't interact with me

7. I get a kick out of fear

8. I am a frustrated artist.

9. My element is metal. I am slow to settle, but hard to remove once I'm settled.

10. I'm like a vampire when it comes to invitations. I only come in when I'm invited, and afterwards, I get used to coming in. Beware.

11. I can only sleep straight for 5 hours. Even if I tried sleeping afterwards, I wake up right away

12. I'm one of those people who wish to travel the world

13. I only ever play charisma based characters because their powers are usually based on power of personality (AKA roleplaying abilities)

14. My luck is fucked up. When I exert effort on things, they usually turn into epic failures. But when I don't and just let things be, they come after me and smother me

15. I eat when I'm sad. The food doesn't cheer me up, it just fills up the empty feeling.

16. I understand things I have trouble explaining.

17. I don't like talking to myself. But I do.

18. According to a friend, yellow light makes me purdy. White light doesnt become me.

19. I don't like malls much. They seldom have what I want, and there's nothing productive to do

20. I suck at names.

21. When I work, I prefer to work alone then ask people for crit, then go back to the storyboard

22. I feel extremely happy when I accomplish things I don't usually do

23. If I had my way with things, I'd make my own clothes. But that's expensive and I don't have much money :(

24. I like exploring new places, new things, new stuff. When I like what I discover, I obsess over it

25. I hate Philippine TV

I never even got to say goodbye

2009-02-03T10:16:00.000+08:00

Abbu's really dead. Rashed (one of my half brothers) and I were emailing. He said abbu had a stroke last Eia when he visited our sister, Rehana's house in Singapore and has been suffering for a couple of months before he died. He said they buried him the very next day. He didn't even tell me the exact date abbu died.

And all this time I thought I wouldn't care less. I accepted the possibility of him being dead while subconsciously hoping that tucked somewhere, my father was still alive and kicking, frowning, even at death's face. But now he's finally, officially dead, taken away by the Gods of Sulfur and Ash.

All those months, he was in Singapore, while I kept putting off trying to contact him, afraid he might reject me, afraid he didn't care anymore. I loved him so much. I'm still in denial that I'll never be able to hug his huge tummy; that I'll never be able to smell the smoke in his breath (or at least his stench, his familiar fuzzy stench because he stopped smoking); that I'll never be able to see his brows furrow or hear him laugh again, because I'd almost forgotten what his voice sounds like. Shit. I don't remember how his voice sounds like anymore. I'll know it when I hear it, but I'll never hear it anymore.

He used to put me to sleep with tales of giants. He said giants liked to eat up little girls who didn't sleep at night, but if a giant did come, he'd protect me from them, or hoist little me up his shoulders to become a giant myself. I believed him, because when I was on his shoulders, I could touch the ceiling. And I knew a lot of people were scared of him.

I'll never be able to know if he still thought of me and my brother again. I'll never be able to know if he wondered how we were doing, because I wondered constantly. I wondered how his lungs were treating him. I wondered if he would hate me if I performed onstage like he warned me against. I wonder how he'd feel if he knew I was no longer Christian. I wondered how he'd feel if he knew I stopped painting, or how he'd feel if he saw my recent drawings. I wondered what he'd feel if he found out I'd turned out a lot like him. I wondered if he'd love me, or despise me. I wondered and I feared, and I thought of him constantly, and yet at the end of the day I'd tuck him at the back of my mind and wallow in unnecesary clutter because I was afraid he didn't care.

And now I'll never know.

Apathy (UP Tug-Ani Editorial for January-February 2009 issue)

2009-01-29T17:46:00.000+08:00

The other day, while waiting for class, I overheard someone talk about her priorities. She was basically talking about how we've supposedly come to UP first and foremost to study, which was why nobody can blame her if she paid more attention to her academic standing than advocacy posters on the bulletin board. In my mind, I was thinking “What a waste of youth”.

I refuse to believe we Upians are all just content with being above the rest in terms of opportunities because of inherent and acquired intellect. Is it arrogance or optimism to think we are above society and her ills? We are never exempt, unfortunately. We will always be victims of ill-made decisions, whether born of stupidity or out of selfishness.

Maybe you do recognize this, and believe that you're going to be a better contributor to society by finishing your studies first and getting a good headstart at your career. But what happens to the time you spent locked up in your academic ivory tower? None of us truly knows what the future holds. Despite all efforts to stay afloat the academic tide, some of us succumb to external forces (RIP April Mae Sumaylo)

Consider that the average 2nd year UP college student is much better equipped than some of the catalysts of society (i.e. barangay officials). At 18, an individual is considered physically and mentally capable of providing for himself. Considering that the kind of education we get at UP, though not extremely amazing, is still much better than what most get. We've had two years of intellectual stimulation that most of us have never encountered (and sadly might never again encounter) in 17 years of existence. We are exposed to enough “knowledge” to correct ourselves when we're not making sense. If the exposure isn't enough, most of us have at least gone through Philo 1 to know how logic works.

Youth grants us a perspective many lose once they start seeing the world through tired, jaded eyes. Youth grants us the luxury of time. Even though studentry is a responsibility as it is, what it leads to are even bigger responsibilities. Bigger commitments. You won't be able to speak your mind when you're under a boss who thinks otherwise. Trust me, not everyone is as open minded as your UP Hum teacher. You are no longer just a slave to the uno, you become a slave to bills; to your spouse and your children; to your properties; to your bank account; etc etc.

Today is the opportune moment to do what you can for your society, or never. If radicality is too much for you, you can at least pick up the papers and start with being aware with what's going on around you. At least if you decide not to give a rat's ass about society, it is a learned decision and not an ignorant one.

UP Cebu, No ID No Entry nao?!? NUUUUUUUUUUUUU

2009-01-29T17:08:00.000+08:00

It's not that I'm going to be having a hard time going to school. I'm one of the few people I know who actually still has her first year ID. But the idea that UP is no longer free for all who risk the intimidation of being in premier university territory (or pass the UPCAT lang) strikes me as ironic and unfair.

I will reserve my rant for the Tug Ani Editorial for the Feb issue. The January issue's coming out on Tuesday for everyone who's been asking. Don't get your panties in a knot. It's finally coming out. It will be noted though that it looks as if I only have one writer. And no photographers. And very few artists. And no other editors cept for me and the lay-out artist, and a friend who helps damage control. So before you complain about there not being an issue, ask yourself if there are people willing to work for the school paper, specially because it doesn't pay. To critics: If you can do a better job, why don't you come help? My number is literally everywhere anyway.

25 things to do before 25

2009-01-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

1.)Learn how to drive a car
2.)Earn $1000 (Just to know how it feels like)
3.)Cook a full course meal
4.)Learn how to sew (tried and failed. My fingers refuse to weild the needle)
5.)Write a book
6.)Climb a mountain
7.)Film an indie flick
8.)Sell a print on DA (lulz)
9.)Go to Bohol
10.)Pose nude
11.)Organize a surprise party (also tried and failed. twice.)
12.)Contribute to Reader's Digest
13.)Make the Dean's list (ala lang)
14.)LARP
15.)Learn how to speak another language
16.)Visit another country
17.)See someone die
18.)Watch a birthing
19.)Perform onstage for theater
20.)Have an album launched for my band, Dama de Noche

I figured there's only about 4 months left before I turn 20, and I really want to get to do these things. The problem is that I didn't have enough time, so I'll be extending my personal deadline, and the list.

21.)Find out what happened to my dad - I just met one of the most iconic teachers in UP - Sir Espiritu, who is for once, not addicted to Japanese culture, but to Middle Eastern culture. He gave me bangles today after giving me a contribution for Tug Ani, and said he was going to Bangladesh this April. I asked him if he could find my dad for me (lol). If not, I think I'll just send a letter through him or something.

22.)Name a baby (It doesn't have to be mine) - I keep on coming up with names for babies, so I name my stuff instead.

23.)Talk to one of my favorite authors/musicians - Just to know if I prefer their personalities or their stuff.

24.)Paint a mural - It just seems like one of those things that can be easily done, but I never get around to doing. Maybe I'll paint a wall in my house (once it's finished)

25.)Get a moondance - I was thinking of doing something crazy like skinnydipping, or praying to the moon naked and stuff, but that's too old school. And this is inspired by something a friend said sometime ago about moondances. I shuts up nao.

Marr(i)ed

2009-01-19T16:01:00.000+08:00

http://jasonmagbanua.com/blog/2008/12/15/issa-litton-and-tiger-garrido-episode-vii/

In a ym convo, a friend made me realize people my age were going to get hitched in this decade.

The capitalist in me started thinking about the possibility of organizing people's weddings for them. :D Hint hint at everyone who's planning to get hitched :D

Slave Tickets

2009-01-09T18:37:00.000+08:00

Slave Tickets make sad gifts. People who have nothing to give (or are too lazy to go christmas shopping) tend to give out stuff like these because they have too much time on their hands.

One girl decided to make a hundred slave tickets, good for an hour each, and distributed them to a hundred friends and relatives.

Most of these people decided to throw their tickets away, figuring they probably wouldn't have enough time to redeem those tickets. Some of these people figured the tickets would probably come useful one of these days, and kept the tickets.

Everyone forgot about the tickets. Even the girl.

One day, many years later, the girl, now a woman, was on her way to work when the ground below her shook. The cement tile on the walkway infront of her caved in and made way for a hole. Out of it rose a hooded creature stinking of sulfur.

The first thing she noticed was it's cloven feet. The next thing was the slip of paper it held out to her.

Stolen from Kuya Justin

2009-01-07T09:17:00.000+08:00

I am bored

I've never taken a dump on the highway, and i wish I will never stoop so low

I will never stick to something just because of an idea

I wish I had the energy to act on my guilt

The craziest thing to think about while your life is ebbing away is what your undies look like. >.<

The silliest thing just happened yesterday. Some dude got shot on the hips. Makes me think of people breaking out in song to Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie"

Why do emo rants start with "why"? Why kuya Justin why?

I love the way things smoke swirls and swivels as if there's an invisible hand dictating it to go where it goes O__O

I hate doing something without any idea why

I cannot stand on stilts. my balance sucks. Hahaha

I will always wonder what the ghost boy tried to tell me in my dream

I have a broken cellphone

I need to go to the bathroom

I still want socks but keep losing them.

I fear that beat they've been using in almost every blonde popstar song lately. I think it has brain sapping properties.

I kissed a girl and i liked it?

I might try not to bite off more than i can chew

I used to chew crackers, spit them out, make them into tiny balls, then swallow them again

2008 Awards

2009-01-01T07:34:00.000+08:00

I'm glad 2008 was over. Despite a few high points, it was mostly sucky for me. It was filled with missed opportunities, mediocre attempts, failures, ill-gotten victories, betrayal, etc etc. For most of the year, I felt dead, acted insensitively, failed to deliver when I was expected to, etc etc.

But this year, I met a few cool people; Established a few things that I hope will continue; and learned a couple of things.

1.) DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR
- Zyra
2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend/s)?
- Wahahaha, Pangs (interesting story btw)
3) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND?
- Anton :P He's the only guy I know who has a clit. That should count for cool.
4) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR?
- secret :P
5) BEST HOLIDAY?
- I think Xmas was fine
6) YOUR SONG FOR 2008?
- "So What" - Pink
7) MOVIE FOR 2008?
- Dark Knight
8) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH?
- my classmates, in the middle of an academic storm.
9) BEST RELATIONSHIP?
- Sam. I wuv you mantha, even tho you're catty and prickly and wont tell me why right away. :P
10) WHAT WERE YOU IN HALLOWEEN?
- a confused red ridinghood.
11) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR?
- Vibe's :D
12) BOOK OF THE YEAR?
- Brother Todd
13) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR?
- To Stop Minding Certain Things
14) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR?
- none that I'd like to think about too much. I might disappoint myself if they dont push through.
15) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK?
- Sing a Pussycat Dolls Song
16) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR?
- Dexter
17) MOST LOYAL FRIEND?
- Pangs..(are you?)
18) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR?
- my outlook on certain things
20) BEST VACATION?
- Manila

Jane was better than Tarzan

2008-12-30T08:24:00.000+08:00

Those in Bold have been accomplished.

1.)Learn how to drive a car
2.)Earn $1000 (Just to know how it feels like)
3.)Cook a full course meal
4.)Learn how to sew (tried and failed. My fingers refuse to weild the needle)
5.)Write a book
6.)Climb a mountain
7.)Film an indie flick
8.)Sell a print on DA (lulz)
9.)Go to Bohol
10.)Pose nude
11.)Organize a surprise party (also tried and failed. twice.)
12.)Contribute to Reader's Digest
13.)Make the Dean's list (ala lang)
14.)LARP
15.)Learn how to speak another language
16.)Visit another country
17.)See someone die
18.)Watch a birthing
19.)Perform onstage for theater
20.)Have an album launched for my band, Dama de Noche

Tarzan lived in the mountains all his life. Jane just learned to adjust.

I didn't really go on a real climb, but a mountain trek. My mom says that counts for accomplishing #6. But I still want to get to the top of a mountain at least once while I still can.

We crossed the sea to get to the tip of Northern Leyte to hunt for the perfect Mahogany tree for several building projects my mom's starting on. The said tree was deep in a family friend's property in the forests of Caryucan. All mommy had to do was pick which one she wanted, and they'd have it chopped up in planks and posts to be delivered to our beach.

Our hosts were the Dagotdots, relatives through my Lolo Tonio's side. Their house, built in the 60's, was a bigger version than the one lolo built in Naval, albeit with a lower ceiling.

Mommy's cousin, Uncle Jun2, dropped us off at Tito Apollo's place. Although the trip was short, the roads were rough.

Tito Pol was the modern day Tarzan. He loled us with stories for every plant. He insisted that one was a cure for cancer, while another was a cure for AIDS. And although I doubt his expertise on the medicinal properties of his plants (he'd named a weird berry the AIDS cure 6 years ago, when I first visited), he doesnt have a single white hair on his head. And the supposed Cancer cure had yummy leaves.

He insisted on living alone on his 50-hectare property, and had been married once, to a woman who has been around the world after divorcing him. Out of the marriage came two children, who he says care nothing about the outdoors. Hermitage comes with its downs too. He told me he'd make me eligible for inheritance if I could live there and take care of him in his old age. My mom joked that he'd have a private room reserved at the hospital if that was the case. :))

The haciendero led the way up the mountain, piping that he used to take that trek everyday some years ago. My mom asked us to stop about a quarter of the trek to catch her breath. We got to a clearing where the trail was lined by a row of flowering Maria de Cacao. On the left was a corn field and a little hut. Picture perfect. I regret not owning a camera.

Onwards was another field, except the corn stalks hadnt grown yet. Beyond were huge trees and white migratory birds on the boughs. The trail was to the left, so I couldnt go near enough to place what trees those were.

Half the trek was a man-made forest of young Mahogany, and a little beyond it were golden bamboo. There was a sad little pomelo fruit in the grass, with a chip in it's skin. For the rest of the trek, I tore at it with my bare hands and gobbled it up. So that it would party with the tapa I had earlier in the day and would no longer be sad.

Then the ground started getting muddier. I left my slippers in a neat little pile while my mom's fell into the mud. After my mom picked her tree(s), we went back, hunted for her slippers, then went back to Tito Pol's shed to collect more plants.

My mom pointed out a rock to me, and told me everything growing on it had medicinal properties. Before that point, I thought they were just weeds. She had me collect a bunch of Tawa-tawa, with the roots. I'd collected some other form of weed and brought it to my mom, hoping it was still useful. Apparently not. >.<

We went back to the house green and red (from scratches incurred in the forest) and met a very shy (albeit articulate) 2 -year old. Her name was Lara and she was plump, the way I was when I was her age. Within an hour, I had managed to trick her to let me carry her. She was as adorable as she was heavy. Very very.

By evening, she had made me her shoe-fitter/sandal-strapper/vicks-applier/fruit-peeler/gift-unwrapper/trash-bearer, etc etc. in short, her personal slave. Muwehehehe.

There was nothing else to do at night, except sleep. I tried remembering all the weird horror stories I heard the last time I was in those parts, but instead of scaring me, the memories coupled with the sea breeze and the thrashing mango trees out the windows put me to sleep (only for me to wake up at 1am due to insomnia).

Before we went home, my mom got herself handfuls (mine) of ornamental plants. Then we hopped onto a boat and rode the waves back home. Booyah.

I'd love to go back sometime to visit. I'd actually rather live there in the breaks than in Naval. If only there were wifi, it'd be perfect.

Taken from Ate Al

2008-12-27T16:52:00.000+08:00

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

- Acquired a nightlife(?); learned how to drive; went to an orphanage; sang and danced to madonna; starred in an indie flick; went to Bohol; posed nude for a painting; LARPed; etc etc etc

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

- I didn't make any :D

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

- None that I know of

4. Did anyone close to you die?

- None this year.

5. What countries did you visit?

- None. :(

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

- Money :(

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

- Thinking of less incriminating dates... err, fail >.<

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

- Being honest to myself

9. What was your biggest failure?

- Not being able to manage my time more efficiently

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

- Yup, every now and then

11. What was the best thing you bought?

- Felix XD

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

- Secret. But patience is a good thing. Thanks :D

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

- Miscommunication can be a bitch. Secret din.

14. Where did most of your money go?

- Food -_-;;

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

- DnD

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

- I Touch Myself - Jack Off Jill

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier. I feel loved this season compared to the last.

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter, but fitter atm, I just came from the gym

iii. richer or poorer? Poorer. hahaha. More stuff to spend on

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

- I wish I was more assertive with what I wanted

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

- procrastinate

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

- in the arms of food and artificial lurve

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

- Yep

23. How many one-night stands?

- Wouldnt you like to know?

24. What was your favorite TV program?

- I didn't see much TV. There was Dexter tho...

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

- Sorta. Not enough to merit hate tho. Just indignation.

26. What was the best book you read?

- Brother Todd, Dean Koontz.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

- Jack Johnson

28. What did you want and got?

- A white wig; a laptop; a couple of fellow insomniacs

-Note: I just copy-pasted this "survey" from a friend's page and it's really missing 29.- (I think this anomaly has made this meme unique, hehehe.)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

- 10000 BC. I liked it. But the bulk of movies I'd seen this year weren't from 2008

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

- I was doing a pictorial in a bikini. Zy said if she didn't know me, she'd think I looked like a sun person. I turned 19

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

- A secretary. Haha.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

- More laid back. More comfy. More t-shirts.

34. What kept you sane?

- RPG

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

- Elvira, mistress of the dark, Cassandra Peterson irl

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

- Local politics, particularly where local celebrities are prioritized over social services. no further comment.

37. Who did you miss?

- I miss my band

38. Who was the best new person you met?

- Too many to mention.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:

- To be able to be everywhere, nobody has to notice

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

- Jai Guru Deva Om (if I were feeling more emo right now, I'd prolly come up with a better phrase)

The Tale of Two Sisters

2008-12-26T21:05:00.000+08:00

I am bored out of my wits. There is absolutely nobody to talk to here for intellectual stimulation. Anyway, to make up for it, my dreams have become trippy once again. The day before, I had a dream about a terrorist attack that turned into sap. Today, I was at a pool with old friends from High School (ones I acquired towards graduation). As soon as I got home, I checked mail for a bit and went to sleep. The following is what I can make out of the last dream I had before waking up:

[18:18] Pangs: bumbumbum
[18:18] Pangs: you are in a dream world. your fingers will soon melt into clouds of orange caterpillars. Enjoy your flamingo.
[18:18] mute_laughter89:
[18:18] mute_laughter89: i achuli WAS in the dreamworld a few minutes ago
[18:19] mute_laughter89: in the dream,
[18:19] mute_laughter89: there were two girls with us
[18:19] mute_laughter89: in the rubble of a building
[18:19] mute_laughter89: one of them was wearing a chipped bow
[18:19] mute_laughter89: as if the bow were made of ceramic
[18:19] mute_laughter89: the girls were half sisters and cousins
[18:19] mute_laughter89: cousins through their mothers who were sisters
[18:20] mute_laughter89: the one with the chipped bow was supposed to have been the well off one for some reason
[18:20] mute_laughter89: the girls found an electric plug
[18:21] mute_laughter89: that opened to a hollow in a corner in the wall
[18:21] mute_laughter89: and in the corner was the head of a fetus
[18:21] mute_laughter89: which was connected to another zombified fetus
[18:21] mute_laughter89: and another and another
[18:21] mute_laughter89: colorful in fernes
[18:21] mute_laughter89: they linked to what looked like two pyramids connected to each other to look like a diamond.
[18:22] mute_laughter89: and the world shattered as soon as we realized what the thing was
[18:23] mute_laughter89: then we follow the adventures of the two girls
[18:23] mute_laughter89: who'd appear briefly in a memory
[18:23] mute_laughter89: Apparently they were the existence of two possibilities
[18:23] mute_laughter89: if the other was to be born, the other would not
[18:23] mute_laughter89: or summink like that

In my dream, I saw the girls in random places around Manila --Places I'd been to back when I still lived there and during my internship. There was a brief interval where I searched a house for my toothbrush.

Xmasness

2008-12-24T21:11:00.000+08:00

I went to mass with the family tonight since mommy's choir was going to be singing christmas carols. The priest gave a funny story in the middle of his sermon. It wasn't meant to be funny, but my mind does weird things to information. The story he told was of San Antonio de Padua. According to the priest, San Antonio opened the doors for carollers when he was still a little kid. One day, he opened the door to a kid his age. The kid had a sack with him. This is the conversation that ensued:

Antonio: You want bread?
Kid with sack: *shakes head* I want something else
Antonio: Whachu got in the sack?
Kid with sack: *opens sack, full of human hearts* I want your heart
Antonio: ...

YOU MUST BE JESUS!

Remember kids, the next time some stranger asks for any of your vital organs, you have to readily offer it, along with your life and your soul, and those of your family members. Merry Xmas ;)

Also, my good friend Zy pointed out that
1. There were no carollers round the parts where Antonio de Padua grew up. Carollers, btw, are Francis of Assisi's fault. This piece of info is c/o my good friend Zyra
2. Anthony grew up in a wealthy household. They had DOORMEN to open gates; then doors for carollers. If there were any carollers. Which there weren't.

~~~

I wonder where my brother went with my christmas money...

Break na tayo

2008-12-21T20:50:00.000+08:00

After an entire night playing Guitar Hero at a friend's place last night, I hopped onto the first Supercat boat heading Ormoc and slept through most of the trip. Despite trying to get off the boat earlier than others to catch a van to Naval, there were none for at least 30 minutes. Despite the crappy circumstances that I'm more than happy to forget about surrounding that Van ride, I slept through most of it and arrived in Naval in an hour and 30.

I was met by insane guitar duets by the Lucente brothers (my cousins rawk) and a newly shaved formerly badjao brother on my bed. I unpacked, fell on a bed, and slept.

I was prolly asleep for 3 hours when the youngest Lucente, Dan, glomped me. I felt a tickling sensation on the sole of my foot and I snapped at Dan to leave me alone. Apparently it was my mom, come to ask if I'd dropped off my laundry downstairs to be attended to >.<;;

xmas break na talaga :3

~~~

When I regain my faculties, I shall blog about the DnD game yesterday. I missed Cravenwall too. And I've levelled up XD

Update on my 20 before 20 list

2008-12-17T18:04:00.000+08:00

It's December, and I have 4 months before I turn 20.
Those in italics have been accomplished.

1.)Learn how to drive a car
2.)Earn $1000 (Just to know how it feels like)
3.)Cook a full course meal
4.)Learn how to sew (tried and failed. My fingers refuse to weild the needle)
5.)Write a book
6.)Climb a mountain
7.)Film an indie flick
8.)Sell a print on DA (lulz)
9.)Go to Bohol
10.)Pose nude
11.)Organize a surprise party (also tried and failed. twice.)
12.)Contribute to Reader's Digest
13.)Make the Dean's list (ala lang)
14.)LARP
15.)Learn how to speak another language
16.)Visit another country
17.)See someone die
18.)Watch a birthing
19.)Perform onstage for theater
20.)Have an album launched for my band, Dama de Noche

Otaku Fest

2008-12-14T09:14:00.000+08:00

Playlist Memes

2008-12-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

The rules are simple:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!

1. What are you feeling today?
>Rock n Roll High School - The Ramones

Wth?

2. Will you get far in life?
>Ang PagIbig Kong Ito - Moonstar88

Atay

3. How do your friends see you?
>You'll Be Safe Here - Rivermaya

Yes my friends, I will protect you from harm *snicker snicker*

4. Will you get married?
>India - Xandria

Forward we sail into the unknown
We have no fear we´re sacred
We´re going to where no one has gone before
Keep on til we have reached the sunset
There will be no withdrawal
We´re heading for the the treasures of India

I will get married if I go to India =))

5. What is your best friend's theme song?
>Under the Bridge - Red hot Chili Peppers

Its hard to believe
That theres nobody out there
Its hard to believe
That Im all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

Cebu loves me? :3
bayuta gud

6. What is the story of your life?
>Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson

0.o sentimentality was one of my faults

7. What was high school like?
>One - Mary J. Blige

Tragic love story much.

8. How can you get ahead in life?
>I Want You - Across the Universe soundtrack

Propaganda will get me ahead in life!!!

9. What is the best thing about your friends?
>I Must Be Dreaming - Evanescene

Lol

10. What is today going to be like?
>Stand By Your Man - The Dresden Dolls

Whut nao?

bayuta. Bigaon akong playlist

11. What is in store for the weekend?
>Civil War - Guns and Roses

Oh dear. This sounds ominous

12. What song describes you?
>Payaso - Razorback

Payaso is "Clown" in Tagalog. Gosh.

13. To describe your grandparents?
>Pop my Cherry - Fiona Apple and Marily Manson

O.O

14. How is your life going?
>It's Not Over - Chris Daughtry

Well obviously *rolls eyes*

15. What song will they play at your funeral?
>Circle - Sarah McLachlan

:3

16. How does the world see you?
>Nightquest - Nightwish

Insomniacs R us... This makes me think of hunting for yogurt.

17. Will you have a happy life?
>Give It To Me - Madonna

Only if I ask for one I guess

18. What do your friends really think of you?
>Lacrymosa - Evanescence

I can't change who I am
not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me
and in this short life,
there's no time to waste on giving up
my love wasn't enough

ka-emo ninyo ba

19. Do people secretly lust after you?
>Listen to the rain - Evanescence

No way for me to know I guess

20. How can I make myself happy?
>Let's go get stoned - Ray Charles

WHUT?!?

21. What should you do with your life?
>Magic - Sino SiKat

Okaaaay...i shall become a powerful SORCERESS!!!

22. Will you ever have children?
>Slept So Long - OST Queen of the Damned

I will fall into a deep sleep and sleep through menopause. And I wanted kids too.

0.o

This didn't make any sense.

I crave, therefore I am

2008-12-01T08:46:00.000+08:00

Late yesterday afternoon, I was online, wanting a bath (no water), when Nichole(diputangbakukang)'s stat message got to me. She was talking about the gloriousness that is yogurt. And I was wondering how Myats and my other classmates who'd gone to Manila were doing earlier, and if they'd gone to Yogurbud.

Pretty soon, I was drooling over the idea of frozen yogurt and hot cinnamon loaves... :E

When the water returned, I got bathed and met up with Paolo (nas0ren) and Nica at coffee dream for a food trip.

First stop was Vibe's, behind the Cebu Doc Hospital. I had their herb and spices chicken with beryani rice. The herb and spices chicken is great on its own (the spices go all the way to the bone... mhmm), but coupled with beryani rice and saffron sauce, it was HEAVENLY!!!!

Then we walked the length of the highway looking for yogurt and cinnamon bread. It was past 10, and the first thing we found was the bread. The yogurt was elusive.

We went to the gas station convenience stores and found not what we were looking for. We went across fuente circle to get to Mercury Drug. They had a ref with a promotional sticker of Nestle yogurt, but all it had inside was chamyto.

We walked on to Mango to check out the stores there. Still no yogurt. Hopped onto a cab and headed to the Mabolo korean convenience store to check if they had yogurt apart from Melona. On the way, Nica made us choose: Would you rather be/date a punk rocker with a lisp or an emo?

Lithpth are cute. :3

At the Korean convenience store, there was no yogurt, and no Melon Melona (!!!!)

We walked all the way uphill, and found Mango yogurt at 8 to 8, a convenience store/drinking place that allegedly sells the best fried kangkong in town. But Nica and I wouldnt settle for less. So we walked onwards, ending up in Sykes, and still finding nothing, dejectedly settled for 12-peso jelly pops. Eugh. We concluded that someone with a car had the same cravings we did, bought all the yogurt from Mercury drug store and all the Melona from the Korean convenience store T_T

Then Anton (overkill001) arrived on his mighty black steed *cough clit cough*. We went to Banilad. At the first convenience store, as I approached the refrigerators, I crossed my fingers while Nica chanted "yogurtyogurtyogurtyogurt". And IT WAS THERE!!!!

We all ended up in IT park, having a yogurt picnic on my cloak (effective blanket it made) while browsing igat girl bands. It wasn't excatly what I had in mind (Anton ate most of the cinnamon back at Sykes since I'd assumed we weren't going to get any yogurt at all), but the effort made the yogurt taste better.

Of Guitar Gods, The Merits of Sobriety, and Fabulous Food Secrets

2008-11-29T09:52:00.000+08:00

The Guitar Fest was lots of fun. I hadn't set out to go with a particular set of people in mind, and people sort of just came together. I had dressed up for an uncle's birthday party and dragged Sam along before meeting Pangs and leaving for the Guitar Fest. Mantha, you just missed half your life by going down at SSS instead of continuing to the Outpost with us.

We were early, thus giving us access to more choice spots. We sat on one of the low tables by the right side of the stage, giving us a perfect view of the stage without having to compete with bobbing heads. While we waited for friends to arrive, I took over the Caltex Guitar Hero Station. Mehehehehe, I may not be a competent guitarist, but I am a competent guitar hero. XD.

As people piled in, and friends started showing up (chaiscoffee, nas0ren, forsakenkid, zeid620, overkill001 ), the Gods made a touchdown.

Lawrence Ostrea of Pandora looked as if he was massaging the fret board, coaxing it to sing. Talk about pornic moanings. Soo sexy. (Even *I* can't believe I'm fangirling over a guitarist, I swear Sam, you shouldve been there!)

But the best part was when a dude who looked like a dead ringer for John Lennon went upstage with an acoustic.

Let's just say he rawked.

RAWKED HARD!!!

Even when it had started to rain, he still managed to keep the audience glued to him by playing a sweet instrum of Itchyworm's Beer. Everyone sang along.

Then Manny (mannyamador) went onstage. The God of Beautiful Men has a beautiful singing voice as well. And although the amps were wonky, he still managed to bring the house down. XD

Manny is the only person I know in the music industry, who doesn't drink. On the other hand, when Guitar God Noli was asked to come upstage again for an impromptu jam, he still had a cocktail in his hand and he seemed way to happy. True enough, his riffs for that jam weren't as amazing as they should've, had he been sober. Tsk.

After Manny's gig, Me, Anton (overkill001) and Pao (nas0ren) went to grab some Korean goodness, then, at 3AM, went off to BEAT to go karaoke. ^_________^ I believe I hogged the mic, sorry guys. It's just been so long since I sang... :3 :3 :3

Manny caught up and we all went to this carenderia behind Cebu Doc. It didn't look like much, but when the food came out, I was shot into food heaven. I need to go back there to sample more of their stuff before I can give you a full account of my trip to heaven. They do say you can't talk about the first time. *tears well in eyes* But all I can say is that the food was too divine, too glorious to be sampled in a mere carenderia. Believe you me, I haven't sampled anything like it in Cebu.

*is thinking about food*

The more convenient the world becomes, the colder it gets

2008-11-16T15:30:00.000+08:00

The intarwebs has made me realize something. I read through someone's blog and realized I haven't seen a whole bunch of people in a couple of months (as compared to the people who still keep trying to contact me even after years of non communication). There are people I actually have seen in a while, and yet it still feels as if I haven't actually talked to them in years. I realized visiting people in their homes isn't a very good idea. There's always the computer to contend with. If it weren't for Felix being in a coma, I wouldn't have realized how unhuman I've been in the months that I've had him.

~~~

This week alone, I've had 3 strange conversations. In one, I'd hoped to stop something that was increasingly upsetting. Instead I revealed more than I'd planned to. It didn't turn out as bad as it usually did whenever I got these impulses. But it reminded me of who I am.

Another revealed something I'm wondering if I should be bothered about or not. Logically, it shouldn't. Logically at least.

A third is somehow connected to the first and the second, although the first and the second aren't related to each other. In the third, I found a road I'd lost and am currently picking up where I'd left off. I found reaffirmation that the companions I have on this road are still with me. I'd found out why I'm where I am, and why I'm doing what I'm doing, and how it's all related to the scheme of things.

At least i got the mindfuck I was asking for in the previous entry. Brother, you can attest to this.

Another thing I asked for that I got was a book - the manual for Mage The Sorcerer's Crusade. It reads a lot like Nobilis, except on a different level. It's still Transcendance, but on a lesser level.

Sometimes technology has a way of making one lose sight. This is why I stopped watching tv. I guess imma have to tone down my time with Felix.

With Christmas being just round the corner...whistle whistle

2008-11-12T17:21:00.000+08:00

I have never considered myself a material person. I've never cared for brands, but that doesn't mean I don't care about quality. I end up saving for something I convince myself out of buying (the money goes to food most of the time, so no, that doesn't make me a mizer either). In the end, I end up not buying the things I meant to buy. So I makes a wishlist XD

1.) Puss needs new boots. Preferrably stilletto. With pointy toes too. Size 9. American size 7 (or was it 6?) (around P1.5k-P4k)
2.) A White Wig (P1.5k)
3.) A Jinx T-shirt. This. Or this.
4.) A mountain climber's pack
5.) A pair of earphones.
6.) A watch that can self destruct (because it's cool)

What I really want tho is:
1.) Undisturbed sleep on a big bed with comforter
2.) A mindfuck (i.e. conversation, weird experience to think about, etc etc)
3.) A good book to read. Something that isn't too intense, but something you can't put down
4.) Funds for my Movie Thesis
5.) A great crew and cast for it
6.) A live Felix T_T
7.) An outlet

Proxy Entry

2008-11-11T13:31:00.000+08:00

Is there anyone out there with a Vista installer?

I left Felix with my brother yesterday as I left for shooting. We wrapped up at 6AM today, and the first thing I did when I came home was turn my laptop on to blog about the experience. It gave me the safe mode prompt, and then informed me there was something wrong with the OS. WTF. By then, my brother has most probably already arrived at Naval. Too far away for me to avenge my baby.

Grrr. I'll be going to the HP service center once I've gotten a massage and slept. That's right after I clean my room of my brother's smell.

~~~

The Shoot's over (Yay!!). it was a very taxing experience, but I learned a lot. Apart from starting late, or having to take 5 hours to do one scene mainly because we had only one camera and a very meticulous crew, the people were fun to work with and watch.

- I went to the longest Wedding Party I've ever attended. And it was mine too. Harvey's gown was a beauty. I just wish I had the patience to turn the petticoat the right side out to keep me from feeling uncomfortable for most of the shoot. My groom was telenovela guy good-looking (think like a Ken Doll). The only guest I knew was Sam, who became my impromptu maid of honor. The music was okay, the decorations were interesting, and my mother in law was at least distant. I wanted to puke.

On my actual wedding day, I won't be wearing white. Maybe gold and red, but not white. The music will involve cellos and lutes instead of guitars. There will be glass trees and technicolor fruits and loads of vines so that the flowers dont feel so lonely and dont look so dead. The officiator shall be in a cloak and it shall be held in a fort or on top of a hill in a monastery somewhere instead of in those modern day cement abominations you people call churches.

I shall get tattoos instead of rings. Because tattoos need surgery to remove. The very idea of getting a tattoo on the tender part of the finger will be one of the few reasons the groom will have cold feet. Yes, marriage to me is do or die. I can't even live with myself. Which is why it's going to be so difficult. So Sam, it might not be possible for you to say you're doing the maid of honor thing for me a second time.

- I got kissed yesterday. I froze and thought of the things I'd lost, and how much I'd wanted to keep innocent about the things that people usually lose first along with their innocence.

I wouldve wanted my first kiss to have been special. An accident maybe. At least with someone I could've remotely liked. He promised he'd just kiss the corner of my lips. He ended up kissing the right side of my mouth.

I felt the flesh on my lips. And then I felt numb. And then cold. And then something inside my brain was tearing apart, screaming. And then I wanted to run away. I knew I was internally overreacting, so I just sat down and listened to Ayna try to calm me down. She was apologetic about having me do the scene, so was Jose. But it was over. I was embarassed for having delayed production with the fit, but it was over. And it was as if nothing had happened.

The tub scene was easier. I managed to get out of showing too much skin. Much cleavage tho, but not too much flesh. Cuddling I can take. I been hugged once or twice aredi and got the panic attack for getting hugged by a guy over and done with sometime in the past, so that it felt nothing. The dude was shivering though. Muehehehe.

Then we did the proposal scenes, and the car accident. The movie will be showing on December 22.

~~~

In other news, I can finally focus on enrollment. I have my subjects down pat, cept for an elective and PE. I'm trying to get into Arnis, and Ranada's convincing me to take up Broadcast Advertising. And I thought all my subjects would be about paperwork this sem, completely day and night with last sem where all my subjects were about some form of production.

Oh shiet. I suddenly remembered Felix is dead. So much for spending lovely afternoons in the quiet of my room while typing papers on my lovely laptop. T_T

/jpb

In Jill's Shoes

2008-11-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

This entry shall be embellished with pictures once I get them from the Boom Boy.

I was given a bad parody of powdered orange juice for my colds the other day. I was warned I'd get drowsy after drinking the stuff, so I had it at night. By 10, I was out like a lamp. Unfortunately, my body clock insists I sleep for only 6 hours. Woke up at 3AM, and just as I was about to fall asleep, my blond brother arrived, reeking of booze. He fell on the bed adjacent to mine and after a few seconds, started snoring soundly.

I "woke up" with a headache at 6AM, an hour before my alarm clock.

Apparently, the entire crew had been up late for another shoot and couldn't wake p when they were supposed to, throwing the entire shoot off schedule by an hour.

The hour extended to two because of technical difficulties.

In the 5 hours that they resolved these difficulties, I was able to catch up on the z's.

For the next 13 hours, I was a confused girl recovering from a bruised face but getting increasingly confused with what to do with her quadriplegic boyfriend. Specially since he turned out that way the night she tried breaking up with him.

Confusion and tension are things I don't have to act out. I act guilty even when I'm innocent, and I have big eyes. Which Ayna says are great for the camera.

AJ took a particular picture that would've been perfect for that last paragraph. But I don't have em yet.

Tomorrow's the wedding, my download is done, and I better get some beauty sleep.

All Hallow's Eve

2008-11-01T19:30:00.000+08:00

I lol'd really hard today. Sun Star featured the bruhaness (not to mention the fatness, thank you very much ribs) of the me for their Weekend pages.

Here's a couple of things I winced at (apart from teh fatness):

1.) Someone else was credited for hair and make up. I pity the poor make up artist whose reputation is nao prolly soiled because I only dabbed a few lines of liquid eyeliner and red lipstick on my face.

2.) Dama de Noche was confused for DAMAGED. Oh noes.

In other news, I went barhopping last night! Yes ladiez and gents, barhopping! Me, teh sea urchin, in a crowded room filled with people doing two things I am far from fond of: 1.)dancing, 2.)hooking up.

But the costumes were funny. There were a whole bunch of Jokers, a couple of devils with glowing horns, a bunch of angels with fuzzy halos, one devil-angel (red skin, horns, halo, wings), darth maul w matching red double-ended lightsaber, a jedi with a blue lightsaber (they didnt come together,lol), a topless dude with a big sowrd (i think he was sposed to be a barbarian) a whole bunch of dominatrices, and a doctor.

I'd dressed up, supposedly for a party scene shoot I was going to with Pangs. Unfortunately the shoot got cancelled. I didn't want to waste my outfit, so we decided to hang out somewhere and do the "nightlife" thing. We ended up in Coffee Bean, discussing my thesis. Lol. Fruh, who happened to be there, hung around with us a while before she was whisked away by the relatives she'd come with. Then Tonia came, who informed us he had no plans, but was on the VIP list of Loft. Problem was, he wasn't in costume.

Luckily for him, I am not just a frustrated actress. I am also BAYOT!!! We got mena from a botica, grabbed my liquid eyeliner, and turned him into The Crow (it was his idea anyway)

So The Crow and Little Red Ridinghood went to Vudu (where the costume party was), to Bo's, where we started camwhoring(we stole someone's digicam, muwehehehe), to Loft, and then back to Vudu. On an impulse, we went all the way to InHouse, planning to crash whatever party could have been happening over yonder, except it was aredi 4AM, and it was closed. Lol.

Pichurs shall follow.

Remembering the Dead

2008-10-29T20:37:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling guilty. I'd completely forgotten about Josh's first death anniversary.

Here's a repost from last year:

Goodbye Josh

I’ll be doing my biggest fan a belated favor by posting his name here: Joshua D. Bueno (Feb7,1989-Oct18,2007). He copypasted a page of my blog onto his once in high school.

He was battling with Leukemia while I was having imaginary nose bleeding from all my finals work. The bodily fluid I shed the day I received the news included no tears until a moth landed on my chest. May pagkamanyak talaga tong si Bueno.

I simply wasn’t in the mood to mourn. I thought I had already mourned his loss 3 years ago when we had graduated from high school. I developed the habit of crying over people during separations and forgetting all about them afterward. He was one of the last to wish me well then. He said I’d get far. But then again, I did say he was my biggest fan. He always went out of his way to give me encouragement and praise. I never really took him seriously. I always regarded him as a delusional bumpkin (whom I suspected was too shy to go out of the closet) just because he thought I was worth anything. As far as I was concerned, it was the last time I’d see the boy. I was right.

As soon as I started college, I tried forgetting everything. I changed my number, my friendster account, my name. I tried fitting into a new life without the supposed dead. I couldn’t prevent meeting old classmates, and hearing about how others were doing. I heard Bueno was a constant Dean’s Lister, besides being active in the student council of St Paul’s Business School in Tacloban. I also heard he had developed a fashion sense and had found himself a beauty queen of a girlfriend (there goes my closet queen theory).

On October 16, I received a message from my mother that Bueno was in the hospital. They were apparently discussing me. My mom told me about the pride in his voice when he talked about what he had been hearing about me. It was as if he was seeing me on the road of success as he predicted. He didn’t know how off course I was. My mom suggested I call him. But I was running low on load, and I had a hundred other excuses.

It wasn’t real to me until I actually saw his corpse and talked to his mom. Our eyes brimmed with tears as she recounted how optimistic he was despite the odds. He’d accept any amount his parents would give him. He had no vices, and even to the very end, he told his mother to keep on fighting, because like chess, even if you lose a piece, you can still win.

I realized he never became a different person. He would always be my bumpkin friend, and the least I could have done was to call him up while he was still alive. We never really know what we have until it is lost. And I never knew how much I really cared until it dawned upon me that I’d never hear his cheesy lines anymore, and know that he meant every word.

Goodbye Joshua. Though I never told you, you could’ve been larger than life.

~~~

A year later, I realized nothing much changes. We set ourselves up for heartbreak. We still cherish the dying and ignore the healthy. We still mourn the dead and forget the living. We are only reminded about how fragile moments are when we are faced with our own mortality.

Relishing the sem break

2008-10-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

For two days, I was dead to the world. I slept and slept and slept, and woke up in the evenings to lurk the intarwebs. And slept.

On the 3rd day, I went out with a bunch of office mates. Woah. "Went out with office mates" sounds weird. This coming from the girl who doesn't even go out with classmates. Aww, don't feel so bad *insert classmate's name currently reading post*, we'll go to a bar one of these nights and pretend neither of us feel weird about it.

It was a foreshadowing, that I would be working in the next couple of days.

But the only thing I'd done lately was a feature story on a Lapida maker. I interviewed the dude this morning, and fell asleep as soon as I went home. I had apparently forgotten that the story was due ASAP. And I want a lapida. A marble one will do just fine :3

I had a strange dream about old friends, where one of them turned into a clown working for a fair and the other wanting to keep me in her bag.

I woke up to work on my story, when Pangs and Fruhlein arrived. We all went to Ayna's place, where we met with future lady-killer, Jack (see what I mean about the Santiago idea?), before going to Big Foot with pizza.

I thinks my groom is afraid of me. :3 I likes him aredi :3 And liek Pangs said, I'm marrying the terminator. :3

On the way home, I was on a jeep, relating my motivations for my role with Pangs (method acting) in the first person. So I was basically telling him about sleeping with someone to compensate for the lack of passion in my real relationship and ending up falling for my fubu. There were 6 guys in the jeep, and all of them were eavesdropping. Sex sells.

Apart from which, I'll be going to Dumaguete this Friday, come back for a debut (Fruhlein's), shoot a party scene on All Hallow's Eve, and possibly actually party, and go over my screenplay with my AD.

And enrollment. No going home for me apparently.

An Ode to the Half Moon

2008-10-20T21:16:00.000+08:00

I cant access DA.

~~~

It is an old game you play with me
That solemn wink in the black sea
That makes me feel like a voyeur, guilty
But indignant that I should be

Because there is nothing I can do
About you showing me what you do

And I will wonder where the rest of you went
With all my precious time on you spent

But you lure me on, out my window
To wait and wonder, til the break of the 'morrow

And lose more of myself
As I always do
And put pride to the shelf
Just to battle with you

Pity

2008-10-15T23:21:00.000+08:00

Lamentations! Lamentations!

Done in this wicked hour
When the bridegroom pricked his member
Within a poisoned flower

And the bride, she knelt
Amongst the roses
And crushed the poisoned flower
And her sweet sweet Moses
His face turned swiftly dour

Rest quick, rest at ease
Quickly now, be at peace

And we shall mourn for the lost
And we shall mourn for the prick

~~~

It's a whole 15 days from Halloween, and a day after Moon Doll's birthday. This was written during a break from watching Elvira videos. Advanced Happy Hallow's all you happy campers. :)

Pissed

2008-10-08T13:27:00.000+08:00

I was with Veron at Turtle's, doing 8 months worth of catching up, when a boy came into the gate with an outstretched hand. I brushed the boy off, told him to go away, and continued talking to Ate Veron. Eventually the kid started shouting and wailing, going "Ah di mo manghatag ha?", virtually just being annoying. We were paying him no heed when he approached us and started poking at Veron's hair. I stared at him, and he started poking me. I put my foot in front of us, yet he continued with the poking. I put a hand in front of my face and cursed him, apparently the intimidate roll failed, because he continued on. I stood up, at which point the boy ran. I ran after him, to make sure he knew I meant business and to make sure he wasn't coming back. A couple of citom officers standing by asked me what was up when I came back. I guess it wasn't their jurisdiction, but it would still help. The owner of the little mountaineering nook beside Turtle's came out and asked us what the kid did. Apparently, he frequented the place, harassing the patrons to get money. Lechugas.

I choose the people who harass me, which I why I met up with Veron. She hasn't changed one bit. And I was in such a mood that I was willing to break the boy's fingers for touching me. Not that I could have accomplished such, but the will can do amazing things.

Do any of you know where I can get an airgun?

I'll take a month

2008-10-07T10:16:00.000+08:00

Last night, the silence was broken by a piercing scream. Happens all the time in books. Or movies. Seldom irl.

But the woman screamed as if she'd just met Frankenstein. Now Franky, as we all know, lives inside her head. Because the real Frankenstein wouldn't go through that much trouble just to scare little old her. Where is he from anyway? Europe? Unless of course she was his mail order bride. But then again, do the undead browse filipinaheart.com? Yuck, zombie love. Point is, Frankenstein lives in her head. I have monsters in my head too, why do I have to save her from hers? Besides, it's halloween, monsters are supposed to be EVERYWHERE. On your yards, Under your beds, inside your closet, in your pants, in your dreams. Monsters everywhere. They get there whether you like it or not.

The monster in my head isn't as large as a worm yet. But it's burrowing itself amongst my brain cells, making room for a home, with a lanai up front, and perhaps even a swimming pool. It'll live there and feed off me, and grow til it's larger than my brain, and I'll burst open, with a child born of my head, the way Zeus had Athena. But I'm no God of Thunder, so I'd prolly die. Which is a good thing sometimes. The dead do own the earth after all, and all I own atm is my past. And dredged up memories aren't cool to have.

Sieze the day, someone is bound to say. But what if it siezes you? Makes you into some sort of human console and press your buttons til it wins? if you're getting images of Chobits, I guess you get the picture.

Otaku Fest 2.0

2008-10-06T18:44:00.000+08:00

FYI, we're coming up with another Otaku Fest, with more delights to watch out for, specifically:

TEH BISHIE PAGEANT!!! (Yes, it's a pageant for boys who look like bishies. And I shall be part of the screening committee. Because I said so >:P)

Workshops (I still have to contact potential resource people, so topics are pending)

More hobbies

More merchandise

More featured guests (Alodia perhaps? mehehehe)

More games

More lulz

And most of all, moar kittehs!!!

The possibility of picking up where the Mandaue Lan party left off is also in the works, and we're still open to ideas. Finalization is set for 2nd week of October, and the event itself is set on December 13 (unless something comes up). Still accepting suggestions and willing victims to be part of organizing committee, coz like they say, if you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

Carnival of horrors

2008-10-04T19:27:00.000+08:00

So the elders decided we were competition for the karaoke mic and had us go to the carnival.

This wasn't a very good idea for me to begin with since there were only two of us college girls and a handful of elementary kids since the kids my age were all at a rave party my brother organized. I regret not going.

My co-babysitter, Ate Mae, was starting to get stomach pains. She suspected food poisoning. I lold at my bad luck. Then Ate Jean came from the rave party, and invited me along, baiting me with news that an old fling had gone to the gym and had become "delicious". The kids were getting impatient. The kids won over newly buffed dude (I was overpowered).

Entrance was at P5. The place was packed with people, gambling booths, and three rides:

1.)a ferris wheel that looked like it would collapse with the right wind

2.)a network of eetsy bitsy airplanes. Out of order.

3.)a "horror" train.

So Ate Ara decided everyone would get on the train. Little Raiza didn't want to get onto anything that had "horror" on it. I told her she was scarier than all the horrors in the world, but she stayed behind with Kisses. So I paid 6xP15 for the whole lot who were getting on the train. That was the least sulit P90 I'd ever spent in my entire life. I would have made a much better job. All that was inside the tunnel was a kid in a frankenstein mask. And he stayed in the same area. At one round, he hid behind the curtains, I suspect, not to be mysterious, but because some of the kids in front were hitting him. Lulz. Kid prolly didn't want to respawn no moarz.

So after the trip, some of the kids had managed to escape me, and had started betting on the gambling booths. I was able to round them up and leave before they could do anymore gambling.

I suspect the most excitement we would have gotten is if someone tried stealing my purse and the eventual running after the turd.

So we went home. I guess I AM going to that rave party after all. And if that sucks as well, I'm going home to make my own horror tunnel.

The Lady on the Mountain: A Repost

2008-10-04T13:48:00.000+08:00

He was an artisan, made famous by his sculpting in particular. He was said to be a prophet of the aesthetic, for there was no rock or stone or wood he could not turn into a thing of beauty. What was even more curious about his work was that it seemed as if his hands sculpted life into his media.

He worshipped beauty, and it was his quest to sculpt what to him was divine. Men from far and wide came to commission him to sculpt their Gods and Goddesses and he obliged. Even the leaders of the land came to him with expensive gifts so that he’d sculpt them. His perception of beauty earned him many powerful enemies. He earned a price over his head for rejecting many commissions.

Eventually, the artisan took his tools and climbed a mountain to live the rest of his days alone with his art. He was set out to create the embodiment of beauty, and in his loneliness, he fashioned it to be a woman. When there was nothing more to perfect, he kissed the lips of the statue, happy that his life’s work was done. Then he walked away and was never heard of again.

To this day, Galatea waits on the mountain, covered in ivy and wildflowers.
-October 22, 2007

My stint as a Drag Queen

2008-09-22T10:41:00.000+08:00

Why? Because I wanted to. I mean how many times in your life would I be asked to play dress up and play make believe and get paid (Well, only if you're good enough) for it?
I was supposed to do Amy Lee since it was a singing contest. I was told that the stress in the criteria was on performance, so the livelier, the better. Evanescence isn't exactly lively.

The choices were Madonna, Cher, Shakira, and Beyonce, all of which I could mimic. The problem with Shakira and Beyonce were that they were dancers, and it was either I do "Baby Boy" and do a doble kara with my right side dressed in baggy clothes (Sean Paul), or I do Whenever Wherever, which was kinda cheap.

So it was a toss up between Cher and Madonna. Cher would win for the lulz, but Madonna was The Pop Icon. I had my mom decide, and she found me a video of a Madonna concert on youtube.

The choreographer wanted me to do Kylie Minogue. There was a reason why she wasn't a choice, and I stuck to that.

The only consistent critique for me during practice was that I wasn't "igat" enough. Atay.

Oh well.

The people went wild as soon as I entered the room. Peopl were whispering "Madonna?"

My mind flew out the wig. Shiet. People were rioting when I lay on the ramp. Photographers were taking too many crotch shots, most of which I tried avoiding. Ack.

And the verdict? The judges preferred the Beyonce singing over my Madonnaness.

She won 10k.

But I won

A 25'' flat screen tv with matching DvD playah through the raffle!!!! I didn't even know someone put a ticket with my name on it. The dude who picked the ticket was having a hard time reading my name. He said the ticket was from CDN, and called up Ms Eileen, who was sitting beside me, to read the name. I was joking that it was me, since that was the usual predicament people ran into when they first encountered my name. Problems with pronunciation. And then she held the paper up in fron of her where I could read it in reverse. And you all know how Ara is still Ara in reverse. Lulz

If mommy hadn't come to be the stage mom, I would've kept mum about the win and sold the tv and dvd player at istorya.net discreetly. Unfortunately she was there, and my couch potato brother has just asked me to scout for PS2 paraphernalia. Grrr...

My gayness was featured on the front page of today's CDN issue. I'm just glad people don't recognize me ^__^

Stimulation begins nao.

2008-09-15T21:04:00.000+08:00

When the rest of the world is asleep and there is no one else up but you and me. Me being the PC and you being the reader. Stimulation begins nao.

And because I trust in the power of the almighty madaling araw, here's a question:

If you had a million peas (because dough stands for dollars) and wanted to invest in something that needed at least 3 million in 5 years' time, what would you do to make your million grow?

Migraine

2008-09-12T21:16:00.000+08:00

Been swamped with schoolwork. Been too busy to blog, cept I couldn't resist not sharing the ff:

1.) After a LONG long day yesterday, I realized I left the keys inside my room. Nobody was awake, and it woulda been rude to wake people up just because I locked myself out of a room. Problem was, my clothes were inside and I was supposed to wear something snappy for a presentation the next day; Felix needed charging; I was supposed to edit an ad for said presentation; and I hadn't had any sleep the previous night editing a different ad for the same thing.

I took it out on the door, thinking "Here's how I find out how high my Str is...". I twisted and turned the knob, hoping it'd come loose in my hand. I gave up eventually, and sighed aloud "Will you not yield to my Cha at least and pity me?" and pushed the door. It swung open. Cool. No wonder I couldn't imagine spending the night away from the comfort of my newly changed sheets (read: fresh from the laundry). It wasn't going to happen ^__^

2.) We did a photoshoot for an adoption and foster care campaign for DSWD. We were worried the kids wouldn't be cute enough on their own, so we asked the DSWD person to have them wear white pampers beforehand.

Boy what a misconception. The kids were adorable as hell.

One pale girl with huge eyes and brown hair had a small smile when we knocked on the door, but as soon as she saw the whole lot of us, her smile disappeared. She stared at us determinedly for the next hour we were there. I thought they didn't make kids like those. She must've been 1 or 2 years old.

One boy took my headband from me and fitted it on himself like a crown. For the first few minutes, he paraded round the playroom with his arms curved in front of him. Lulz, heads up emperorsandata, someone's out to get your throne. Even the empress agrees ^___^

There was a whole slew of tots that made an impression. There was one we called "Butchik Baby" because she had the small ruby lips and the curls, one bald little thing that just sat in a corner and looked up at you in what I imagined to be an amused look. If he could say something, it might have been a "Sup?". There was the beautiful baby girl who made a very pretty picture and looked a lot like Ate Miki's baby (she was left at Sto Nino daw). There was the basagulero who always had something hard to hit you with, and there was Ara Jr.

I was busy hanging out with "Sup" baby when Karen came over and sat down, telling me the baby she was holding wouldn't be let down. The kid turned to me with outstretched arms. I obliged. Pretty soon we were sticking our tongues out at the mirror. Fast learning kid, good mimic too. At first, I thought the baby was a boy, with thick yet closely cropped hair, and very long eyelashes. Baby had a middle eastern look to it. For sometime, I just stood there, with the baby resting it's head over my shoulder. I asked someone what his name was. I was told it was "Lara". I was thinking "What an unfortunate name for a little boy..."

I thought she'd fallen asleep, til Frohlein took a picture and showed me what she was doing. The little thing was staring up at Froh's lens with a finger in her mouth and huge puppy dog eyes. What a camwhore. Manipulative too. She pointed to the window several times to me, as if asking me "Take me home", and then she'd kill me with her big thick lashed eyes. I looked at her and wondered whether it was wise for college students with barely enough money and time to adopt. Unfortunately that's the very reason why teenage pregnancies isn't a good idea in the first place.

I spent the rest of our stay with Lara, and none of us wanted to leave. But we had a presentation to make at 9, and I hadn't even gotten into my business casual yet. So after diverting her attention from myself to a toy (believe me, the deception hurt like hell), I kissed her one last time and said bye bye. She stopped smiling and looked at me, then she held onto my leg.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"She wants me" has taken a totally different level.

I'm going back one of these days.

And oh yeah, on Guitar Hero? I was able to play with Pangs and Frohlein. I prefer the console for some reason... so that's not what I'm gonna be doing the next time I get free time... I'll be window shopping at DSWD. Lulz.

I enrolled for voice lessons today too.

And I'm having the worst migraine I've had in my entire life. It started this afternoon at around 5.

The current state of affairs

2008-09-10T12:15:00.000+08:00

The school paper office is crap. The walls are cracked and cobwebbed, the floors are soiled with dried flood water, the PCs (donations mind you) are busted and virus infected, and the room is cluttered with old issues because we don't have the means to properly organize our archives.

*Sob*

Bitter part is that the PCs get trashed whenever we're close to publishing date, and the keys used to stay with the guard; the SAO taunts Tug Ani writers about the office not getting any benefits because it keeps featuring him.

AND TEH DELF MIYU IS NAO $460!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I don't want her that badly anymore... Hahay.

Ara can live without doll.

But Tug Ani will always need puters. And walls. And floors. And writers. And artists.

Tug Ani needs you

(in many ways... more on some parts, but that's besides the point...)

French Fries, Dead Guys, and a Showfly

2008-09-02T17:21:00.000+08:00

I feel like a hot potato.

Solibanko (Always wanted to use that word, I just dunno how it's spelt) , I went to a dead dude's birthday and got flooded by stories and anecdotes of how much of a square he was. His friends were trying to pry personal information about myself. One of them poignantly pointed out: "You don't watch tv, you don't like softdrinks, you have no religion, are you human?"

I am. But I'm not square. Wish I was though. Squares look like happy people.

The humdrum newsroom was invaded by fairies today with a girl dressed in a dewy cobwebs today (I think that was the desired effect of the gown, else it was tacky). I was wondering about who she looked like when Kuya Justin pointed out that she looked like me. Nyek. I know what I look like when I'm in showfly mode. My face is just a bunch of lines and a big mouth. She was purdeh. ^__^

Mah bebeh fell with a resounding 'thud' teh other day. Now he has a wound. I cringe everytime I feel the tear. More reason to have him seen by the HP fefol. I feel like a bad momma.

Mortality

2008-09-02T07:04:00.000+08:00

There's nothing like a walk in a cemetery to remind you of your own mortality. I'd been sent to the cemetery for a story and ended up walking around. I was wondering why there were so many flowers that day and remembered it was Monday, cemetery day for most. I don't understand why it's on a Monday. Faith suggested maybe it's because it's Moon's Day. Hay whatever.

Monuments are only important if they stand for something. Little mounds on the ground and mausoleums included. It doesn't matter if your bag of bones is sitting under that plaque, it's what you represent and how that representation matters to the living that counts.

Which brings me back to the thought: What do I stand for? With all my issues against contradictions and being a contradiction myself, have I preempted my fate by truly becoming Doubt incarnate? I took the time to sift through the remainder of my beliefs and realized I can count them all in one hand.

One of which is that nothing is as it seems.

Maybe we all have to remember we're all dying sometimes (or that nothing is permanent). It makes us rethink our priorities. Hi garlfriend, this goes for you too.

Lulz

2008-08-28T17:52:00.000+08:00

I'll be doing this come Press Freedom Week:

Wahahaha, I was supposed to do Cher, but that would be suicide. I'll be tagged as CDN's drag queen forevar. And it's not helping that Ms Connie suggested I quit school and stay in CDN. Like Kuya Dale? Nope. I'm still having fun in school. I told her I applied for the Tug-ani EIC position to estalish that I still had reason to go to school. She nodded and said "Pang lapida", then tried to make me listen to Abba's Mama Mia. Mabuang ko.

In other news, I have a new phone and number. It's still vintage (3210) but it feels nicer. I also figured snazzy cellphones won't last long either, and if I should spend on something, it should be as conveniently optimizable as a Blueberry. Like a PSP for instance :). Ah, Kuya Justin, you have converted me to the PSP religion. I wonder how much the impersonation competition prize is... wehehehe

I fell off a bike the other day. One leg ended up bruised, while the other one got twisted in some areas. It's barely -2 to HP, but I realize how much weight I'd gained. I can cover the width of my arm with my entire hand. Faith and I've realized we'd been sitting on our bums in front of our respective persocoms too long. We decided we'd put the fire exit to good use and try our luck there. It'll be good to see how fast we can go if we do use the fire exits in case of a zombie attack. But we didn't wake up early enuf the next morn, and we both had places to go.

So much for "Where the wind takes me"

2008-08-21T04:36:00.000+08:00

Leaving has become trendy atm. My good friend Heno has left for the tumultous lands of Mindanao to seek his fortune because he was tired. Then my high school best friend, Malynne's leaving for Europe, because she says she can't find a future here.

She told me about her plan, which was part wreckless, part promising, and I wonder why I hadn't thought about it. I had always wanted to go there of all places, yet I was too lazy to actually exert any effort in actually leaving.

She asked me if I wanted to come. I sincerely want to. But whenever I ask myself why I can't, I always come up with some excuse or another. I have too many responsibilities I can't just run away from. I've built walls and a roof for myself with large windows to watch my dreams float out off.

I'm not saying that I'm unhappy with the things I'm currently occupied with, I'm just saying that it isn't easy to abandon myself to "Whatever" anymore.

~~~

He's a walking short story. The type that gets published in filipino news magazines in the "fiction" section. And I'm worried about him. Half because he's my friend. Half because the situation is bleak no matter what angle you look at it from.

Toilet Humor

2008-08-20T05:38:00.000+08:00

The door of the CR somehow got jammed while I was still inside. Faith, Karl and Pangs took turns laughing at my predicament. And oh yeah, they were trying to help too. They gave me bread knives to pry the lock free. I was having difficulty doing that and we were all joking through the door about how I was never going to get out.Karl said they'd sympathize, and tell me what they were eating at every meal, so that I wouldnt feel lonely. I told them I was prying the vent open to let the food in. I went through that and had Karl get in to open the door.

Yesterday was the UNISO meeting. Many facepalm moments. It played out like a sitcom episode. The room was obviously divided. Everyone wanted the same end, they just disagreed on how to get to it. Apart from that, communication was an issue. How can anyone hope for a proper exchange when nobody's prepared to listen?

It woulda been simple. But people were tripping themselves by complicating the process and contradicting themselves. Lol. People were showing their ineptitude. The Captain Obvious family was there. At least we got to a conclusion. While the constitution is being drafted, there shall be no UNISO. In other words, UNISO has a big "Out of Order" sign over it atm.

Because the world is round

2008-08-12T12:54:00.000+08:00

http://zeid620.multiply.com/video/item/23/Dama_de_Noche?replies_read=13

My daughter, Gabi, has uploaded the Lakas Tama performance. I realized a few things:
1.) It's okay for me not to smile during performance
2.) I need a choreographer
3.) I need exercise (gahd, look at those arms)
4.) I should've worn that white long sleeved polo like I originally intended to

Cook Out is over, and nao I'm off to mull over other things. A conversation involving sex drugs and violence last night gave birth to an idea for a play. In order to focus on this idea, I'm letting go of my original thesis proposal and giving this a shot, mainly because I wouldn't have to go through too much trouble just to get it funded.

It's a filipino culture themed fantasy, cept it involves sex drugs and violence. No real drugs though, but the way certain people act, you'd think they were on drugs. There will be a little incest, a war, a few babies, and much much blood.

I'm announcing this on behalf of the ACT UP core group, that I've been demoted from Asst Chairperson to Floor Director, which means I'm heading this project (since it IS my thesis after all), and that we shall be having an emergency meeting tomorrow at lunch at the canteen, which will be followed by a fleshing out of the script for those who're interested in joining the scriptwriting and researching committee. Once the script's fleshed out (the backbone's pretty sturdy already), we'll be holding auditions and workshops.

COOK OUT'08

2008-08-07T05:56:00.000+08:00

COOK OUT NA COOK OUT NA COOK OUT NA (In the spirit of my good friend and sometimes palalabs Emyats) COOK OUT NA COOK OUT NA COOK OUT NA *Continuous squeals od excitement

But what is there to be excited for? I'm committing suicide here. I'll be manning the sounds booth, then Ill be galloping in an Yves creation at the rampahan, And on top of that, Dama de Noche will be playing at 11:45. Cook Out's til dawn, and Ill be leaving for Dgte in the morning.

Eyebaggage galore.

And there's the fact that the Cook Out tickets have increased for the sake of accomodating a band that played this:

Agent orange - slapshock

I'm obviously not a fan, and they add +2 to the chances of drunken brawling, whether or not alcohol is allowed inside the campus premises or not. But Dickies was willing to pay for them. Sad that nobody was willing to pay for Up Dharma Down.

But then again, they're playing at the wee hours of the morning, enuf time for UP talents to show off. We're keeping to traditions and looking back to the past, while looking towards the future and its issues at the same time.

Speaking of issues, my inbox looks like my spam folder because of the number of people who throw messages back and forth. This is an example of the type of discussion that occurs in the yahoogroup:

Lol. People are actually contradicting themselves nao. I thought Christianity was about Brotherly love? Ha ha ha. I wanna turn historical here and laugh about how the Christian has turned upon himself to persecute his own kind.

I'd like to call on my classmates and fellow prod people to ignore this type of discussion, because it's not our fault or problem if people dont come and watch. After all, it wasn't our decision to make Cook Out so unnatractive to the masses in the midst of crisis.

Hahay. Good luck gud natong tanan. I've always managed to enjoy some part of the Cook Out, I hope this doesnt become an exception.

A commentary on the current political situation: Rave Parties (This aint about the Pines imo)

2008-08-05T17:58:00.000+08:00

It's grown sickening

It's not as if you people are fighting about principles anymore, it's not as if you people are fighting for what's right anymore. You're both trying to see who can top the other.

It's gone past the funny point. But Im too lazy to actually do anything radical about it. So I'll use the easy way out. I'll write about it. I'll write about rolling eyes amidst corrections just because the correction was made by a person of the same party to a person of the same party. I'll write about out of the blue decisions and walk-outs by sore losers. I'll write about unclear statements and worse rebuttals. I'll write about point by point fallacies against fallacies. I'll write about misplaced aggression. All for the lulz.

But like I said, I'm lazy. And I try to make it a point to NOT listen to BS. Specially when the BS Spouter has been at it for almost a decade ever since I've know the person.

You're no Socio-political party. You're a rave party. This is open to interpretation, so let your guilt trip you.

Srsly, I really wouldnt care about your mess, if only the people involved in this rubbish would actually do something beneficial to the entire studentry and not just a selected few. And I have problems with people not living up to their self-acclaimations.

Go read Gandhi.

Velveteen: A repost from somewhere

2008-08-01T08:58:00.000+08:00

There is a seduction in myths
That draws the mortal man in
To partake of forbidden fruit
To explore the familiar mystery
It is this seduction
That leads you to this grave
That leads you to take this shovel
And dig deep
Deeper
Harder
Until you’ve struck wood
Or is it glass?
AS the strange guards said it would be
Queer folk, half your height
Who left you with crude tools
It is the seduction
That pushes you on
To bury your hands in the dirt
To reveal the glass coffin
Gilded with metal filigree
Inlaid with rich red velvet
Almost as red as her blush
The mock life in her flesh
The red that is her lips
That pushes you on
To find out
If she feels like a real girl

Did you expect she’d wake up?
You did not
But she did
The darker side of dreams come true
You strike at her with your shovel
And her blood is as dark as her hair

The Thousand: A repost from somewhere

2008-08-01T05:00:00.000+08:00

There were rumors that the Great Heroes of the Land had taken the forgotten ruins of the Castle of St. Borgia for their brotherhood. They were called The Thousand. It was considered a man's greatest achievement to be one of them. But the route to the castle itself was obscure and perilous, and people had stopped believing there was even a Castle in the first place.

The beginning of the route was a 60-foot tall wall made out of human eyes at the western edge of the Kvasir Woods. If one casts his eyes upon the wall, one may be blinded forever. If one gets past this with his eyeballs intact, there's still the matter of not losing one's memory. Those who've gone past this trial know to think one thought they can afford to forget forever. Others would wander stupidly into the opening in the earth past the wall and get swallowed by the creatures that dwell in it. One has to have his wits about him to get through the dungeons.

The dungeons end at a wall bathed in pitch black darkness. A voice will ask you one question. Only those who can answer correctly are told to take a few paces back, lest the wall should fall upon the unlucky adventurer.

The opening leads to a room decked in finery made for royalty. There are two doors, from one of which will enter a creature that will appear to the viewer as the object of his Worldly Desires. This creature will try to prevent anyone from entering the door it had come from. This door leads to a very confusing manor. Anyone who enters it is guaranteed to go mad (if one isn't already). The door the creature hadn't been guarding one against is of course the way out.

Outside is a tranquil and pleasant-looking meadow, if one does not look closely. The ruins are on the top of a hill, and it will be easy enough to reach.

The gates are guarded by a fog of specters, all of which one has to battle. In the maelstrom is a young girl with raven hair and the blackest eyes you've ever seen. She will tell you of her story, of how several men had come during the destruction of her mother's castle, how they molested her, and how she sought revenge. Unfortunately, her blood lust was never sated. And with this, she offers you a smile full of broken teeth. It'll be the last thing you'll ever see.

~~~

Inspired by DnD, Nobilis and WoW. I miss Marie.

Which superhero are you?

2008-07-26T19:19:00.000+08:00

Your results:
You are Catwoman

Catwoman		90%
Wonder Woman		80%
Hulk		80%
Spider-Man		75%
The Flash		75%
Green Lantern		75%
Robin		60%
Batman		55%
Supergirl		55%
Iron Man		50%
Superman		30%

You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
Why is she listed under superheroes? Funny test. Iunno why.

This is the stuff fiction is made of

2008-07-24T10:39:00.000+08:00

Zy and I had a very animated discussion on the possibilities of Phoenix's character. Phoenix, son of Adam through Eve, among his other brothers, kept notes of their story. The brothers were of the first blood, who could maximize the capacity of their brains, and have marked contributions throughout the history of human existence.

Phoenix learned to detach himself from his brothers, as even some of them got involved in the comings and goings of humanity.

Zy suggested one of his brothers was Elvis.

I was thinking one of his brothers was Jesus, who resurfaced as John Lennon. :D

~~~

We somehow drifted to a discussion regarding Animals and the 2000 years of the world's history that disappeared from records. The Animals' Union revolted against the oppresive Humans of Oz who kept them working at minimum wage (think Flintstones). This crippled Human Culture and brought Man to his knees. It had to take several centuries before Man could recover from the loss of its workforce. Meanwhile, the original Animals stopped educating their young in order to keep them from enslavement (satire to the call center industry). George Orwell's Animal Farm talks of the possibilities that Animals abandoned. George Orwell mustve been an Animal himself! He coulda been a turtle... why? Because turtles do that sort of thing... they lie there, harmlessly, and you know how the deadliest enemies are the silent ones... that, and they live long.

~~~

The title of this entry is because of something that happened to Zy as she was walking home from school. She'd seen a trail of ripped off notebook pages on the sidewalk. Out of curiosity, she picked them up. Here are excerpts from the pages:

"...the ideas that appear here that came from my own mind are ideas that I do not want to claim original. I may be the first one to conceive them, but I am not the origin of them..."

"melody is an offspring of the fundamental line"

"...a sculpture is perfect because you have nothing more to chip off from it..."

Strange. very strange. The writing is legible, and every now and then, the person talks of God and Christ. It's possible that these are notes from a Theologist's notebook. possibly a Seminarian. The penmanship is archaic. And I'm not educated in the art of deciphering penmanship enough to tell if it was written by a dude or a dudette.

But it gave me an idea of a self-made man. What if you picked up little torn out pages from what appears to be an autobiography, and it turns out what you were reading was your own but didn't realize it until the day you die?

Urduja... and other crap.

2008-07-20T16:42:00.000+08:00

This is not a review, it's a rant.

I watched Urduja, and I did not enjoy it. Animation was choppy and transitions were extremely weird. It was a riff raff of rip offs (Pocahontas, Samurai Jack, Tarzan, Mulan, Pirate of the Carribean), and instead of ripping off interesting parts, they ripped off icons, things that made the movies distinct. The voice acting was crappiola (cept for the children's voices, yay for that at least), and they didn't even sync right.

The lore wasn't even accurate, and to make things worse, the heroes were a chinese pirate and a japanese samurai (Samurai Jack, I do not lie). So much for national pride. A lot of things were smooshed in for no reason, left hanging, or totally unexplained.

The inconsistency of both the art and the plot progression was extremely irritating. I fell asleep sometime in the middle of the movie and woke up because the girl beside me was laughing at something really hard. People in the cinema were screaming and commenting in the loudest voices possible. The jokes weren't funny, but people were laughing their heads off, as if to show everyone that they got the jokes because they were FILIPINO!!! pornic moaning in a children's cartoon... tsk tsk

I understand filipino humor. I grew up with a whole slew of yayas from every nook and cranny in the Philippines. In fact, my overexposure has taught me how to tell if it's a bad filipino joke or not.

But laughing at a joke just because you're trying to support the cause is pretentious and desperate in a scenester kind of way.

People should stop being "considerate" about what we have and what we do not have. Compared to the rest of the world, the Philippines is behind because we keep on makign excuses for ourselves. So much for "Poverty is not a hindrance". We're poor exactly because we keep on thinking we're poor. We keep thinking we're too poor to do anything. What about improvisation? What about initiative?

Epal. Epal talaga.

Dop(p)e...

2008-07-17T19:28:00.000+08:00

Where's a Blue Fairy when you need one?

Where do you hide when you don't need the sun?

How do you say all that matters is fun

When you obviously need to be someone?

When you obviously want to be someone

When you've always tried to be someone

When you keep on insisting to be someone

Because you say you're different

As is everyone

And I kid not when I laugh

Because you're funny

And so am I

Because it's the same boat we're on

Where we both need to be someone

When we both try to be someone

And I'm sick and tired of seeing someone

Who's as sickening and pathetic as me

Sige daw, mga pinoy ba gud kaha mo...

2008-07-11T17:18:00.000+08:00

So much for being down for the dumps. After a grape shake and a slice of pizza, I'm feeling a leeetle bit optimistic.

In this day and age where we've become attached to the convenience of technology, here's a scenario to chew on: Let's say that at the time and place that you've read this post, the world has just "ended" via meteor shower. Major Cities all around the Globe have been hit by meteors and a strange gloom has decended upon the world. Radiation from these meteors has wiped out most of our flora and fauna. All media is wiped out. No more cellphone signals, TV signals, Radio frequencies, NO INTERNET. Electricity lines are down everywhere, for some reason, anything that runs on electricity won't run anymore. Half of the Philippines is covered in water (I live in a building remembar? Wehehehe), and depending on where you live, your place could either be flooded, or you're swimming with the fishies (the ones that didn't get wiped out by the radiation).

What are you going to do?

(I'm tempted to say Lapu Lapu and Chuck Norris just to add to the terrors, but I'm not that crazy... whoops, there goes one...

Furthermore, to get this joke, read>http://newmoonmaiden.multiply.com/journal/item/86/Because_running_commentaries_dont_make_sense...?replies_read=63)

How to Escape Zombies

2008-07-10T01:54:00.000+08:00

I just lost an entire blog entry about a discussion with Faith on how to escape Zombies. Lechugas.

Here's the scenario: A horde of undead are coming towards the building. These are zombies out for brains.

Now there are three ways to go up the building: two fire exits (standard flights of stairs) and the elevator. Both can be easily accesible to zombies, even though death took away most of their dexterity (as well as ligaments). The elevator, someone stupid will eventually open up for them, so there's no hope in that.

We could buy time based on screams. The louder the screams, the closer the floor they're momentarily invading. And since Zombies can't pick locks, the gate and door will be able to hold them... for a while... (they have dead weight as a bonus).

You could spend your time packing up on essentials (everything sharp in the household, salt, a fresh change of undies) and ripping everything rippable to long shreds. Long shreds that can be bound into one very very very long and strong rope. Rip that sofa, the curtains (YES!!!!), the carpets, the bathroom mats, the rags, the clothes, the bedsheets (in every room, and those in storage of course), towels, Veronica Veils, etc etc etc. Use the dining table as an anchor for the rope, and if you've ever tried rapelling, going down won't be so hard.

From the balcony, you can already see what places don't have zombies (or potential Zombies for that matter... you can't trust ANYONE), aim to go down there.

If there are still zombies around, break out the condiments. We didn;t use the salt earlier cause we have only one canister, not enough to hold a whole lot of zombies back.

Once we get down, we'd have to steal Uncle Mulong's Corolla and try to get to the port (hoping the salinity of sea water will keep zombies away).

But what if these zombies where mutant zombies from MV Prncess of the Stars, trned mutant from the chemicals onboard?!?@$^$^&^#$#&^%^#$*$%^#*^$^&$#*^

I just scared Faith to sleep. :D

Paranoia caused by Dobby Dodging

2008-07-08T20:40:00.000+08:00

Nahawa ako sa depression mo te.

I'm particularly paranoid about being where I'm not wanted. As soon as I start feeling unwanted, I run away. Trauma taught me that.

Now that I'm having problems shooing a particularly pesky creature away, the situation rebounds on me that I often wonder: Do people see me the way I see her? Do people carefully listen to me and talk to me, itching til I'm out of earshot, to mock me and laugh at me afterwards?

We dodge her, we make elaborate plans to escape her, we gripe about her, we laugh about her, and she's totally oblivious to the neon signs we hang around her that SHE IS NOT WELCOME. I tried applying this to the self. There may be subtle clues that I be missing. Latch on the paranoia. Oh hello little clue, I didn't see you there.

I don't want to be a clueless dolt who thinks she's okay with people but is actually the butt of jokes when she's not around. I don't want to turn into another pitiful house elf.

I'm not saying that I'm guilty for what I'm doing because it's possible that I'm having a taste of my own medicine. I'm bitching. I don't like her. She don't get it. But who am I to try to feed her subliminal messaging if I myself don't get the messages thrown at me?

Freshie's Night 08

2008-07-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

I'll post pictures later when I'm saner.

We were just there for a few minutes, most of it spent in a nearby karaoke, so there's very little I can say about Freshie's Night. From what I saw, it looked good.

Although we did harass a couple of cute froshmen to join ACTUP sometime in the night, and a little before that with scandalous camwhoring, we generally didn't do much.

We (Dama) played a modified Sleeping Beauty (with Faith's keyboard tweaking); I'm Only Happy When It Rains; and Paint it Black. We (surprisingly) played earlier than usual (this time we played at around 9), and the host introduced us with titles and stuff. First time dude, first time.

My mike's cord was crappy, so the vox for the first two songs were barely audible, and we still made a few, barely perceptible mistakes.

Nao I am foofed from all ze boot stomfing. I shall schlepp nao.

Mediocrity

2008-07-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

This is a rant.

Human density when it comes to implications is hard to deal with. Specially when you're trying to tell the person to scram.

It's tolerable when you're the only one bothered, but when the person's zeal is chasing away an entire body of people (people you were trying to get in the first place), it becomes a form of terrorism.

It's reached the point where people start avoiding meetings and org obligations just to get away from someone. It could've come off as a You & Me against the World thing if the person was even good with what she did and was merely misunderstood. The problem is she's not. She's a waste of time and energy (and money), and though she has the diligence of 10 people, she's the same person 10 talented people are running away from.

We lose $$$ because of mediocrity. Today, I just lost my week's allowance, and it's going to take a while before I get reimbursed. No wonder there are starving artists. Balancing out decadence is a costly thing. Art materials cost dude.

I have an imp for a teacher

2008-06-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

So Myats has a devil for a sister, and though Ms Ranada is devilishly cheeky, she's not that feisty. So she's an imp. And she's sent me to thesis hell.

Ok, so I admit, the thesis proposals were corny, and I wasn't pitching them very enthusiastically. She asked me why I wasn't doing anything about advertising, saying my strengths were in creative conceptualization anyway. I told her I'd rather get into the movie industry after graduation than the ad industry. She told me to make a production. I dunno why I said yes. I dunno why I showed her the movie concept I pitched to Miss Marya. I dunno what I was thinking.

Stupid stupid stupid girl. Where in all 7 circles of hell are you going to find the moolah?!?!?

I could just change the concept and think of something that would require as little money as possible, but I'm stuck in the story, and my brain won't allow me to think of anything else in the context of movie material.

Cripes.

The movie concept's entitled "Bida complex", and plays at Philippine movie cliche's. And when you do a parody, it should at least reach the level of what it is you're parodizing in terms of cinematography at least. What do I know?!? I'd seen enough of real production to know that I don't know crap about commercial film production. And if I'm going to defend my thesis the same time my classmates do, I have to start looking for Producers nao.

Half of me wants to do the project, and half of me is telling me if I do accomplish it, it'll be mediocre, so it's better if I don't to escape the probability of getting embarassed big time.

Hay inay, bakit ka ba nanganak ng babaeng ambisyosa't nagsasalita bago mag-isip?

~~~

Cook Out updates (or at least what I know):

>The Logo is in the drawing board, and we've commished Ate Al (artistmonk) to do it
>The Program has been drawn up, and tradition and margin for errors have been given the highest priority.
>Dama de Noche will be playing, cept not as competitors, but as a guest band.

Ang alamat ni Maria de Cacao

2008-06-18T17:28:00.000+08:00

There is a Maria story in almost every Region in the Philippines. Almost everywhere,the legend is that she's a beautiful stately lady with fair skin and long long locks who speaks in Spanish. She lives alone on a mountain and lends people her cutlery, gowns, golden combs, etc etc. She's harvests cacao ang delivers them on her Spanish galleon to different parts of the Philippines. She is known to live in waterfalls and other places.

The reality is (in my mind) that she is actually the Queen of a Chocolate Conglomerate, is terribly terribly obsessed with the aesthetic and wants to live in a world full of finery and luxury (wc is why she lends gowns and cutlery to the natives of the lands she abuses of their free resources, she hopes she gets invited to fine dinners and parties just like back in sweet home mother Spain). She has found out the secre to longevity and to evarlasting byuuuteee: Not too much sun and hours and hours of sleep (which is why she's sledom seen), and a top secret chemical that comes from the skin of cacao (I just came up with that on the fly). She parks her galleon in the crests of Waterfall formations and actually uses super advanced technology (she stole from Lemurian civilization) to make her galleon invisible AND flexible (to fit arrow rivers), not to mention uber powerful (which explains why it goes upstream to the waterfalls). She's also a PETA sponsor (she has her own Natural sanctuary in Makiling), and she a little too vain for her own good (she sets up "apparitions" in different parts of the world and basks in worship)

Idol nako si Maria.

~~~

Came up with a new term today - Pornic Moaning. Pornic moaning is something you're supposed to do subconsciously but do consciously to give off a certain effect.

Use Pornic Moanings in a sentence (i.e.: My Pornic Moanings include smiling like an idiot when I'm clueless and unhappy about it).

It

2008-06-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

...isn’t perfect, but it’s gone past the point where words sound hollow and unimportant. Words give it different shades of meaning, and there are just some things words are not for. This is one of them. If I were to show you what I mean, I’d give you a painting, and you still wouldn’t understand.

I’d give you the Inverness, with its valleys of purple and its mists of gluttonous incense.

But that is just one painting. There are so many others. The Inverness is too depressing. But I have used the Inverness as an example because it is impossible. It is an idea of a painting and not one in actuality. That is what I mean when I will give you a painting.

So we go back to words. I would give you a word to describe it, but it has been misused too much that its meaning has become vague. SO I will refrain from misleading you by giving you the word. The usage of the word in this narrative might cloud your judgment about this monologue anyway.

I said it was impossible, I said it was ideal, and I also said it was not perfect. This is because in my opinion, all that is considered perfect becomes tainted eventually.

It is something that has caused me to dwell into myself and study It, trying to decipher its nuances. I’d discovered it causes me to think differently, to consider other options, to wonder about going out of my way. It causes me to break away from my laziness. Otherwise I’d just be sitting here.

It has drifted beyond the surface of my being, that if you looked at me, you would no longer notice its presence. It has grown deep within me, like a root that ruins the rock yet beatifies it with meaning.

It is idle for most of the time, a welcome poison in my veins, but at certain circumstances, it leaps and takes hold of me, and I no longer own my body. That is the part of it that the world chuckles and nods to, but otherwise it is more than that.

And at times I tire of it, just like I tire of almost everything I have grown accustomed to. But it wrestles with me and mocks me, and shows me who is boss. And every time, I succumb and agree that I am master, and I let it happen to me.

Digression

2008-06-06T21:03:00.000+08:00

During Ate Chloe's stay in UPD for summer class, she had a run in with the typical modern Dillimanian. She got onto a Toki and ended up listening to two kikays blathering about boys, cars and money, in "Conyo" (Taglish). She talked about said experience with another Super Senior, who told her there were actually tons of kids like those these days in UPD, and that the image UPD projects through the Collegian is a lie. A concrete example would have to be how people still wore slippers to school, except these days, their slippers' cost as much as a week's meal (for me at least).

While she was telling us about the kikays, I remembered Sam and I had a conversation about boys and cars too, in a mixture of english and cebuano to boot. And though we do like to dress up when we're in the mood, we do not wear havaianas (they're not as gahi as my TWO's, so meh :P).

A private conversation about a guy friend's new chevy doesn't have to mean these girls are shallow and that's all they ever talk about. It is kinda hard to speak straight English or Filipino or Cebuano when you find shifting lingual gears too much effort when you're just gossiping and you've grown up thinking in both languages.

And though I may rant about instant assumption and hasty generalization over here where I can lay my thoughts out without being interrupted, I do agree that UP today is lackluster compared to a few years back. There was just somethng about school that made your blood boil in the past. UP made me care about a lot of things I didn't give a rat's ass about back in HS. But that was only because I was actually curious. These days, most UPians I get to talk to only care about making the grade and passing their scholarship quotas.

When asking for identity info from a stalker the other day, he said his student number dates back to "When UP was still cool".*

So UP isn't as cool as it was before. Sucks right? Though we may reminisce about the good old days, it'd be foolish to try to bring it back the way it used to be. Different approaches must be taken, isn't that what being radical is supposed to be about? Being up to the times?

I am not saddened by the death of UP Culture. I am challenged with defining the new paradigm of "UP Culture". In a campus as small, yet as potentially volatile as UP Cebu, it's so easy to make a difference.

If anyone wants this generation to care again, one needs to remember they're dealing with a different generation. A different generation calls for a different approach.

But I'm not saying sitting around and laughing and calling yourself a "family" (ala brady bunch) is going to work when it comes to having people care about the rest of the world. I'm just saying we can't expect people to keep falling for the same old tricks, specially because we 90's kids are the TV generation. We have short attention spans and sth.

I like to ramble when I'm sleepy. You can go over the entire thing and replace "UP Culture" (or the idea of it for that matter) with anything that you feel is digressing today. Try Dunkin Donuts for starters. Or the dichotomy of Bago (I wish Pangs and Jun were on Multiply, only they'd get this joke...)

*Leche... kinsay nanghatag ug number nako to someone with a student number that starts with 98?!? The jerk called me "zwiti"!!! :barf:

Out of order

2008-06-03T08:58:00.000+08:00

Dar2x, one of my multiply contacts, posted about her schedule being mucked up by the system, so I had to go check my own.

CRS strikes again. The PE subject I preenlisted for is out. No badminton, no swimming classes that fit into my sched, and absolutely no arnis. Crappiola. All the dangerous ball sports are available this sem, and unfortunately for me, I can't skip on PE again this time.

Then there's the part about non-froshes being unable to preenlist for NSTP. What's up with that? Does that mean I still have to add mat?

But I'm actually looking forward to classes. Most of my classmates are getting misty eyed about it being their last, while I'll be staying put for another year (providing I don't botch things up).

~~~

Faith got me a shirt yesterday, with an Out of Order stamped across the chest. You rarely find really clever lines on shirts these days, even though they're being manufactured by the thousand by brands like "Artwork", "Bleach", "Digeo", etc etc. The lines you find on shirts these days are usually corny, or crass. Sometimes they're just words on cloth. Or I could be wrong, and the shirt line's implication is far too deep, its humor escapes me.

Out of order. Can't piss here. Can't take a dump here. Not available. Not applicable. Broken. Destroyed. Dysfunctional. Chaotic. In other words, it says there's just something wrong with the person wearing this shirt. So it's either you back off, or you laugh.

If you think about it, it kinda spoils the message that the shirt's a little to snug around the curves.

It also strikes me as somewhat poserish to have to project to the world that you're bad news. Why not let them decide? If you really are traumatic, why not have them find out and experience trauma for themselves? A little dirt is good for the immune system. If we all wore signs that told people what sort of person they were dealing with, where's the point in engaging in conversation to know more about people? What ever happened to good old interaction? What are we so afraid of?

Signs can be deceptive. What's with all these labels? What's with all this propaganda? Who're we all fooling?

But then again, witty shirts always make good conversation starters. Lecheng commercialism.

As a conclusion to this psuedo rant, I'd like to annouce that I've been tasked to write an article on emo culture. Lol. If you know any who're high and proud with the label, I'd love to meet them.

What is there in the world to do?

2008-05-30T18:21:00.000+08:00

Back to bummer land. Alone in Cebu, with nothing to do and no one to terrorize.
Internship ended today (for me at least), tomorrow's a weekend, and I'm almost broke. What's worse is that I need to move out of my hole next week, and I have yet to find somewhere to go. Ack.

Woe is me. I don't want to spend the weekend in front of a PC either, and there's very little to do in the room, and I left my DVDs at Faith's place. Zyra, nganong ug manghagit naman ko'g inom, wala na nuon mo? I miss Boracay (the drink, not the place)... *nudge nudge* Em2 nganong kung kanus-a na ko manghagit ug duwa, kinahanglan makalimot ug ginhawa imong auntie? I could've started working on your Paladin...

I refuse to do nothing (well nothing fun of course). I don't see myself logging in tomorrow, but this should serve as future reference.

What is there to do when you're low on cash and alone (apart of course from what it is healthy young adults do to tissue)?

1.) Read a book (unapplicable to yours trully since I no longer have unread reading material)
2.) Draw (not feeling very inspired atm)
3.) Take a walk (this is only fun when you've got someone to walk with, pwamis. Unfortunately, my walking buddy and silly conversation friend is out of town, curse him)
4.) Go to church (if all else fails and you're really bored, you can rant to the manager)
5.) Count your hair by the strand. (in-ana na gud ko ka walay lingaw)
6.) Sleep; snore; travel to dreamland; pee on your bed ... whatever it is sleeping people do (inapplicable to insomniacs)

You may add to this list by posting a comment.

Post debt paying

2008-05-28T19:50:00.000+08:00

This is for Jared and Gani, who both tagged me with one of those "random facts about yourself" tag. I owed Gani 6, and Jared 10. Here goes...

1.) I'm subconsciously health conscious. If I were to pick between a bag of chips and a bowl of fruit, I'd go for the fruit (because I don't like how salty chips are anyway, and artifical sweeteners leave weird aftertastes)

2.) I don't think I'm weird. I'm just terribly self conscious, and a little too comfortable with taboos than usual.

3.) If I was born with a different configuartion, I could've become a biologist.

4.) My favorite number is the number 4. The chinese think it's unlucky, but I've always thought it looked like a nice rounded number.

5.) I have a tendency to skip numbers when I read. Which is prolly why I suck at math.

6.) I prefer walls of text over numbers. I am also aware that a lot of people aren't into walls of text, and tend to skip over them, which works well for me and my blogging habits.

7.) I prefer asking questions over answering them. I don't like answering autograph books

8.) One recurring dream theme is water and the sea.

9.) One pet peeve is when people make mountains out of your mole hills and give you grief over them.

10.) I love the smell of fresh ink on paper, but I'd still get the pdf version if I can pirate it. Arrr

I don't think I complied with the tagger's requirements. Oh well.

I tag no one.

Philippine Education...

2008-05-27T17:44:00.003+08:00

Q: Why did Lapu Lapu kill Magellan?
A: Magellan made his nose bleed. Lapu Lapu doesn't understand a word in Spanish or Portuguese.

The moral of the story is: It's scary when the ignorant are in power.*

I attended the 888 news forum this morning at the Waterfront hotel. The topic? the status of Philippine Education in the Philippines.

I was wondering the other day about what would happen to our workers if all their children wanted to become lawyers. First of all, it'd be impossible, since most farmers and fishermen cannot even send their kids to college, much more to law school... but I was just wondering...

One of the main themes of the discussion was about how most college bound students expect to get into white collar jobs right after graduation. Several of the panelists claimed Philippine graduates had the proper skills and training to sate the human resource demand. Unfortunately they did not have the attitude. A lot of people graduated with honors only to enter the ranks of the unemployed just because everyone wanted to get jobs with title heads and 5-figure salaries right away.

In my opinion, ambition is good. But ambition and ignorance is not a very nice combination.

We are taught in public school that salary is everything, and that only doctors, lawyers, and engineers have great salaries. We are taught that to be the best, you must do anything and everything, which is why our teachers hand us answers for the National Schools Assessment Exam, and why the honor roll is usually lined with the biggest cheats in class. Most children want to become teachers once they start school, but after seeing how much my teachers hated their work, missing class more than I did and all, that dream died quick. That's values formation for the masses for you.

They blame it on the budget. We do have budgets in the education sector. But the question is where does it go? To the painting of new walls, the building of classrooms, the salaries of teachers, to new books. Nothing in research and development, in the updating of old curriculum, in field trips, in quality of education, etc etc.

As for the labor force, there are demands for welders, airport traffic controllers, animators, and whatnot in our country alone. But who would have known about these jobs anyway? Airport Traffic Controllers... wow, that's an interesting title, how come I never heard about it?

There are lots of niches unexplored because people are too afraid or lazy to look at options. People aren't aware of the possibilities and how far their talents can take them because we aren't taught to explore individuality. Does this all go back to the copycat culture discussion? I dare not start that again.

There's no wonder so many students shift from one course to another. They eventually spend more money that way, or worse, never finish at all. It doesn't really matter how long you take in college, as long as you come out fully equipped to help your country by adding to the labor force. God knows we need all the help we can get.

P.S.*I did not mean to defame Lapu lapu in any way, I'm not sure why he killed, or had Magellan killed. Please don't kill me so that I can ask him. Lol

More internship madness

2008-05-19T15:49:00.000+08:00

Excited little me toddled off to work yesterday only to get assigned to gather blotter stories from the homicide department.

Disappointed little me's eyes widened the moment I saw the name of the dead dude on the blotter report

Excited little me flew to the newsroom to get more instructions about the story.

Disappointed little me was sent to gather jeepney driver commentaries on a fare hike.

You get the drift.

I was expecting the suicide story would get front paged. Ironically, it was the jeepney story that did. The suicide story was kept somewhere in the depths of the paper to give the family more privacy.

Ironically, I was sent to cover a stockholder meeting for the same family's business. I was seated beside business editors and columnists who had come by the ton from several other media institutions. I was a lone intern from CDN til some other guy with a CDN ID came in.

Before everything began, one lady was yapping about how CDN treated the suicide story. I felt like she was deliberately letting me hear her comments. But how could she have known I was the reporter who got the blotter report? I was just an intern, and I had just co-authored the story along with two other people. Oh well.

After the meeting (which was basically a reading of the hand outs given to us), we were served lunch while we interviewed the big wigs of the company.

It was fine dining, and last I heard, it was illegal to talk about dead relatives on the finner table, so I kept mum. I was hoping though that someone would suddenly ask about the suicide. No luck. Apparently food etiquette is still significant to Cebuano Media, ignoring the fact that the lady next to me stole my salad fork. Lol.

When I got out, one of the personnel handed me a gift box. Lol. I also asked the other CDN dude if he wanted to write the story (since I obviously did not know how to go about it). He said he had another sched and bid me goodbye. The jerk had only come for the food!

I didn't want to look stupid with my article, so I approached the day desk editor and admitted that I was near nosebleed mode with all the technical business terms. She told me to ask for help from Evert. Ulp.

Surprisingly, she was a lot friendlier than I remembered. She said she'd asked sir Marx if it were possible to include business news writing in our curriculum. I wish they had. No matter how big a head ache learning how to translate biz lingo would be, it should be nothing compared to the embarassment fresh mass comm graduates would get when their editors assign them to do business articles.

She gave me a crash course on power economics and told me to just write an article based on the company's projects and sth. After a few pages, my headache was clearing up and I finally understood most of what my notes meant.

Then my notebook went missing.

I phone interviewed Uncle Mulong regarding the fare increases, submitted both articles, and went home.

I'm pooped.

Internship Madness

2008-05-18T08:01:00.000+08:00

If the brief stint in Manila was hohumm boring, I can't believe how busy I've suddenly become with print internship!

I remember mentioning a few entries past that I was wary of print internship, especially at CDN because it was rumoured to be the least intern-friendly environment in Cebu?

The HR told me to report at 6:30 pm last Thursday to be given a beat. The editor, Miss Connie, was surprisingly congenial (despite rumors that she was some sort of Dragon Lady). She told me to go to Mandaue the next morning, to send a text message on the gist of my story before 2, and to submit the story before 6.

Next morning, I realized I had absolutely no idea how to go about it. I treated the experience like a game. I approached one of the information desk people (footmen of the castle.lol) and asked if I could speak to the Public Information Officer (The Earl's minstrel). After being sent to 3 different people, I found Ms Louella, who I asked for the mayor's itinerary (charisma check...). You get the drift.

After a trip to the City Engineer's office, I got my story (and a few bits of chismis about CDN), so I went back to the office to type the story.

As soon as I got there though, I was sent to cover a Qur'an recital event at Jones. The event was at 3, around 15 minutes away. The only way to make it on time was to get a taxi. I was almost broke.

I had the taxi stop at an ATM machine and got to the program, albeit a little late. I noticed that Muslims were far more courteous than most, and it was harder to spot who were the interviewees compared to the rest. I approached a lady with an ID holder who lead me to the Regional Director himself. He entertained me for the remainder of the program; gave me a copy of their souvenir program and ordered some food for me. Very gentlemanly. He looked like William Dafoe (Green Goblin of the 2002 Spider man movie).

When I got back to the office, I was finally able to type the story and the story after that. The office's computers were running on Linux and were having problems. I couldn't save my articles without the help of the IT personnel. Talk about defeating the purpose. Did I mention ate Evert snubbed me when I greeted her? I didn't know people actually did that these days. I refuse to believe it was actual conceit that pushed her to snub us interns, despite us being from the same school. That would be too shallow. And I don't know her that well to automatically assume she is shallow. Lol.

Sometime in the evening, one of the people went around with a box full of rolled up sheets of paper. Whoever got the paper with a star gets to cover a concert. I got a blank paper.

I went home at 7:00, after dinner with Mara at the office cafeteria. Their fish had too much vinegar. Before going home, Miss Mars, the day desk editor, gave me instructions for my assignment the next day. I was going to Dalaguete.

~~~

I came 30 minutes too early, and was silent on the way to Dalaguete. The seminar thingy was interesting (it was about restoration and sth), and guess what? The parish of Dalaguete has wii! One of the members of the heritage commission, Fr. Bryan, asked me if I wanted to play. Lol. Breakfast and Lunch were served, and on the way home, the people in the car got into a very animated (not to mention outdated) discussion on the environment. I kept poised and proper the entire time, as if it was that hard to act perky, staying in a car with people who reminded you of your mother's friends was enough to put a dapper on any enthusiasm whatsoever.

I arrived at the office later than expected because of traffic, and sat down to write my article. I found the article I had written the day before in a little corner inside the paper (it was short after all). Though the paragraphs were arranged more meaningfully than I had in my draft, a few details made me flinch. I have to learn how to satisfy the editor...

I went home at 7:30pm.

I'm actually looking forward to going to work. But this time, I'm bringing my own laptop.

The end of bayotness

2008-05-13T15:48:00.000+08:00

I won 1st runner up. Lol. For more details, visit:
http://www.biliranisland.com/blogs/?p=116

I did the night elf dance for the fun wear competition; Although the gowns sucked, I was able to get a pretty color compared to the others (turquoise); Jay-R spent most of his serenading time beside me; Rico Lucena gave me his thumbs up for ABS CBN (TV Internship Myats... lol); I can afford to give my laptop an upgrade; I made friends; and the figurine/trophies for the special awards are cute :D

In fact, I went shopping this morning. I bought myself accesories for my laptop; a RAM upgrade; a laptop bag; shoes, a jacket, and an umbrella. :) nuahahahaha XD

I'd be ever so grateful if you...

2008-04-14T12:05:00.000+08:00

...registered at http://www.biliranisland.com/forum/register.php, verified, and voted at http://www.biliranisland.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1720

I'm Miss Maripipi in case you get confused...

Yes ladies and gents, I've joined another pageant. I'm determined to redeem my uglehness from the last time (i looked like some sort of silver fish...in a human beauty pageant) First prize's 20k plus a trip to Hong Kong.

The pageant's on May 9 featuring Janno Gibbs, tickets cost from 100php to 1000php me thinks. For more info, visit http://missbilirantourism.biliranisland.com/2008/

20 things to do before 20

2008-01-02T18:57:00.000+08:00

1.)Learn how to drive a car
2.)Earn $1000
3.)Cook a full course meal
4.)Learn how to sew
5.)Write a book
6.)climb a mountain
7.)Film an indie flick
8.)Sell a print on DA
9.)Go to Bohol
10.)Pose nude (srsly, before I grow fat or old and wrinkly)
11.)Organize a surprise party
12.)Contribute to Reader's Digest
13.)Make the Dean's list (ala lang)
14.)LARP
15.)Learn how to speak another language
16.)Visit another country
17.)See someone die
18.)Watch a birthing
19.)Perform onstage for theatre
20.)Have an album launched (Dama de Noche)

Ambitious? I'm currently working on #1 :D

School days are here again

2007-11-10T21:21:00.000+08:00

The beginning of a new school year/sem always gets me high. I wonder if it'll last long though.

I still haven't finished enrolling. It's not so much on me sucking, it's just that the CRS or Computerized Registration System sucks.

Oh well. The most I've accomplished in two days is to gather the requirements for enrolling and getting a number for Monday.

My classes all begin at 10:30 and end at 4. No in between breaks, all classes in the mass comm wing. I will become a consistent ghost this time. But I doubt I'd be wandering around school a lot. Unless I had to wait for meetings which usually take place at 5:30.

I can roll around bed as long as I want and still make it to school on time. I'll have more time to go places without being interrupted with a class to get to.

I have to publish this month to complete my Journ grade. I have to publish at least 2 articles, and I still have no idea when my Comm 140 removals will take place. Then I'm adding another subject. Possibly an elective. Or maybe a GE. I dunno.

As for projects, Rachelle wants to push through with staging a play. I was excited about it at first, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe we could stage something other than Pregenesis. Maybe we could do something that's already out there.

Then there's the prom. And I'm unfortunately the Program directress. Fack. I don't want it to turn out the same predictable way.

Then there's Otaku Day. I suggested a fund raiser for the prom. It would be called "Otaku Day". It would have contests for artists, a cosplay competition, and would be culminated by a concert. We're still in the planning/letter drafting process. Excited about it actually.

This sem doesn't sound too bad to me....

well, so far.

Manic Depression

2007-11-04T16:03:00.000+08:00

I found an 80's book entitled "How to Cope With Depression" in the house. It started with the definition of Clinical Depression, including symptoms and signs. 'Sounds family...' I thought, and read on. Then I found Manic Depression. Bingo. I had all the symptoms. There were times when I felt like I was on top of the world, totally in control of myself, etc etc etc (Mania). Then there were times I felt like shit (Depression). Symptoms of Mania included excessive energy, lessening of sleep, giddiness for no reason, irritability, stubborness, vanity & conceit. Depression on the other hand included constant self depreciation, lack of energy, irregular sleeping habits (including waking up at odd hours), etc. Yep. Could be it.

Sometimes I have random thoughts that seem to have no connection whatsoever. Thinking back, there was a time during the restaging of Pregenesis where my private blog posts seemed like collages. My friends also confronted me for being "others". These were actually exhibitions of Mania. Then there are times when it's hard for me to string a coherent thought. It would be hard for me to understand abstract concepts, and I'd be very absent minded. This was actually a manifestation of depression.

Then I read the testimonials, and thought I was reading my personal blog. Lulz. A Nicole was exhibiting the same signs of depression as I was early in her life, and as the years went on, her actions became more drastic and more self-damaging. Another woman whose name I forgot was increasingly paranoid in the work place. I remember screaming at someone at school because I thought she was talking behind my back. Shit. If I'm going to get worse, I need help.

My mom came and found me with the book and told me she had manic-depression in college. That explains a lot. She then told me it was through strong faith in Jesus that she got over it. Ack. In retrospect, I'm starting to think my YFC days were exhibitions of Mania (thinking that there was a voice talking to me when I closed my eyes, the calming sensation that washed over me when I was imagined I was in God's embrace..etc etc)

I googled up manic depression and found out it was now called the Bipolar disorder. That explains it. There were several cures for it, all tablets except for Lithium.

Woot. The green fairy. I wonder what it'll do to me.

Christmas in Halloween

2007-11-01T17:48:00.000+08:00

I slept all afternoon and woke up to thunder and lightning. Auntie Mama had just arrived from Manila, and was telling everyone about her visit to Eat Bulaga. She had been chatting with Allan K in bisaya, asked Tito Sen and Wally to pose with her in a picture, among other things. Due to the black out, we had to eat by candlelight. Everyone was huddled over the kitchen table for dinner (barbecue) and after a very long time, we seemed like a proper family, talking and laughing over food. Even Raushan was there.

Then the lights came back on. A plug started smoking, so we shut off the electricity while Raushan took the plug off. We went back to dinner in the dark. Food always tastes better in the dark.

We had the electricity back to fix the christmas tree Auntie brought back from Manila. I was put in charge of trimming the tree, with the kids as my (slaves) assistants.

When we were through, the lights and music were turned on, and we started recalling Christmas memories.

Karl talked about how they'd lie on the animal skin rug under the tree and watch the lights back when they still lived in Yakal. I recalled watching the lights while I swung from a playground set we had in our house back in Paranaque while the Midi Christmas carols played.

The younger children listened eagerly and I realized one thing: I'm old -_-;;

Lolo and Lola's picture hung on the wall behind the Christmas Tree. I don't think they minded that we decided to spend time cherishing the living on the day of the dead.

The Occassional Purr

do you have an idealized self? And if so, what does she look/act like?

formspring.me

Byebye '09

Beauty Bar Bitches

Buhbye Persephone II

The theme of the day: Selling Out

Burnt Out

Fly Pancakes and a potentially popped vein

The Proverbial Popped Cherry (Outpost, first gig journal)

Because the world is round, it turns me on

The Strange Hair Day

Too High To Care (Updharma Down Concert inspired)

I need a mindfuck/ wanted, roleplayers

Bida Complex Shooting (It's a Wrap xD)

Turning Epic

I'd like to turn this into a graphic novel: (A History of Locus Inverness; a repost)

Kasi ganito nga daw kami magchill

A Couple of Dreams in a Single Night

Bida Complex Updates

Bida Complex; Meeting The Cast (for documentation purposes)

LF: people to work on Bida Complex for peanuts

Of love lost and peanut butter

Argao has wifi and zombies

Much guilt

25 things before 25

Of Toilet Etiquette and Day Spoilers

Bida Complex

Red Paper: It's not like we chose to be painted such.

25 (tagged for the enth time)

I never even got to say goodbye

Apathy (UP Tug-Ani Editorial for January-February 2009 issue)

UP Cebu, No ID No Entry nao?!? NUUUUUUUUUUUUU

25 things to do before 25

Marr(i)ed

Slave Tickets

Stolen from Kuya Justin

2008 Awards

Jane was better than Tarzan

Taken from Ate Al

The Tale of Two Sisters

Xmasness

Break na tayo

Update on my 20 before 20 list

Otaku Fest

Playlist Memes

I crave, therefore I am

Of Guitar Gods, The Merits of Sobriety, and Fabulous Food Secrets

The more convenient the world becomes, the colder it gets

With Christmas being just round the corner...*whistle whistle*

Proxy Entry

In Jill's Shoes

All Hallow's Eve

Remembering the Dead

Goodbye Josh

Relishing the sem break

An Ode to the Half Moon

Pity

Pissed

I'll take a month

Otaku Fest 2.0

Carnival of horrors

The Lady on the Mountain: A Repost

My stint as a Drag Queen

Stimulation begins nao.

Migraine

The current state of affairs

French Fries, Dead Guys, and a Showfly

Mortality

Lulz

So much for "Where the wind takes me"

Toilet Humor

Because the world is round

COOK OUT'08

A commentary on the current political situation: Rave Parties (This aint about the Pines imo)

Velveteen: A repost from somewhere

The Thousand: A repost from somewhere

Which superhero are you?

This is the stuff fiction is made of

Urduja... and other crap.

With Christmas being just round the corner...whistle whistle